


Operation Idiots

by BaileyWhit



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Holidays, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 06:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8787160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaileyWhit/pseuds/BaileyWhit
Summary: It's Christmas time and Josh decides it's time to act on his latest epiphany.  (Written in 2013)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. It all (enviably) belongs to NBC, Aaron Sorkin, and company.

I’m Jewish. Didn’t know if you knew that. But yeah, I’ve even got that whole ‘ancestors were mostly all wiped out in the Holocaust’ thing, unfortunately. As my lovely mother loves to remind me, I’m currently the last of the Lyman lineage. That would be her guilt trippy way of bringing up the fact that I have yet to reproduce and provide her the fodder for bragging at her weekly bridge game in Boca. You’d think ‘my son is the third most powerful man in the country’ would be enough. Nope. No grandkids equals failure among her Golden Girl cohorts.

Back to my point. I’m Jewish. So that means, around this time every year, I get to sit back and watch as the majority of the people around me nearly kill themselves in preparation for that oh so popular celebration of the birth of another Jew. They decorate, carol, cook, shop, and wrap til they’ve forgotten that they’re supposed to be celebrating something, not trying to outdo each other or prove their love with shiny things.

And stop right now; I know what you’re thinking. I’m being a cynic. I, Joshua Lyman, Deputy Chief of Staff of the White House, can tell you with the utmost certainty that I couldn’t do my job if I were a cynic. I concede whole heartedly to the fact that many do hold the spirit of the holiday over the commercialization of it... the President for example. Yes, he is all about the gift giving, but he doesn’t do it to outdo or to prove anything. He does it because he finds true joy over getting someone a gift that he knows will make the receiver smile and giving joy to others is paramount to Jed Bartlet’s. Then there’s Sam, who gives horrible gifts (last year he got me a reindeer Pez dispenser) but lights up with wonder and joy like a little kid with all the decorations and singing. He holds the spirit of the holiday by constantly _being_ in the spirit of the holiday. C.J., much like me, despises the commercialization of Christmas. She does the obligatory gift exchanging, but her true Christmas is her annual Christmas get together when the gang all goes over to her place for some heavily spiked eggnog, Secret Santa exchange, and viewing of her two favorite Christmas movies, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and A Christmas Carol (the old one with Alistair Sims). Having us all together to relax and enjoy each other’s company is her way to keep the spirit. And it gives her a renewed excuse to call me a “nitwit” and Toby “Mr. Scrooge” for a few hours. Toby, my Jew partner-in-crime in the West Wing, plays up his modern day Grinch persona, but in reality you can see he enjoys the little Moments when the hustle and bustle of the West Wing on a holiday high calms down and people take a second to actually be warm with each other.

Then there’s my lovely assistant, Donna Moss, who is far from naïve about the evils of commercialization surrounding Christmas, but chooses to ignore all that and just enjoy the holiday season. Like the President, she truly enjoys gift giving and gets as much out of it as she gives. Like Sam, instead of seeing a skyrocketing electric bill, she sees wonderment in the twinkling lights as through the eyes of a child. Like C.J., she finds enormous joy in simply spending down time with those of us lucky enough to have her consider us family. And like me, she admonishes people breaking their necks to use the season as a proving ground for status, wealth, and superiority. She is literally the best versions of us all, combined in our very own Christmas angel.

We Jews do have this stretched out holiday this time of year known as Hanukkah, but its far more subdued than anything Old Saint Nick is selling. Growing up in my family, for example, we would light the menorah each of the 8 night and have traditional meals. My sister and I would spin the Dreidel while Mom was cooking and we’d get a small gift each night. Nothing extravagant. We were lucky enough to not want for much in life, so the gifts were usually items we could learn from or would need anyway like books or socks. As a kid, I remember being sort of envious of the kids who’d come back to school from winter break with tales of their shiny new trains or sleds while all I had to show was a copy of James and the Giant Peach and a new scarf. But as I grew up, I came to appreciate the ceremony of Hanukkah over the materialism of Christmas. It made me proud of my heritage.

Our traditions became… well… less traditional after Joanie died. Our family lost more than a daughter and sister that night. We all lost a big part of ourselves too. I miss Joanie for so many reasons and my memories with her when we were celebrating the Festival of Lights with our family are a large part of that. They represent a time when we were all just… happy.

For some reason, the way Donna holds Christmas reminds me of how my family used to hold Hanukkah. When I’ve allowed myself to get wrapped up in her enthusiasm these last few Decembers, I’ve felt, even for a few Moments at a time, a giant weight lifted off of me. Sometimes I’ll catch her standing in the lobby, just staring up at the big, ornately decorated evergreen, people bustling to and fro around her. And against my restless nature, I’ll just take a Moment to stand and watch the way the twinkling lights reflect in her blue irises and bounce off her golden hair creating a glowing halo effect. A warm smile will slowly creep on to her face and I’ll get this flutter in my stomach, like a hummingbird has decided to take up residence in my gut and flicker its wings. Before I know it, I’ve tuned out the hustle and bustle surrounding me and I’m smiling too, just from watching her stare at a goddamn tree. Other times I’ll come back from a meeting with some jerk Republican who won’t budge, pissed off and amped up, only to find an apple cut up, slices arranged in a spiral with peanut butter in the middle, sitting on a plate on my desk. Usually this kind of simple gift will be accompanied by a little note in Donna’s signature, barely legible scribe saying, “Relax and breath” or something along those lines. My tension of the day will ease a bit and on these occasions, I’ll actually make the effort to walk out to Donna’s desk to ask her to join me in my office rather than bellow her name for all the bullpen to hear. She’ll follow me in and sit across from me, sharing the snack she’s prepared. The familiarity of sharing my food with Donna helps to rid the remaining tension in my body. The small talk and banter soothes my soul. And the bliss on her face that she seems to get from seeing me back at ease makes that little hummingbird act up again. Her joy in giving me joy gives me more joy. It’s a circle of joy… I don’t know how else to describe it. These little Moments with her bring me back to the boy sitting on the living room floor, spinning a Dreidel with his sister while the smells of cooking food enveloped us, not a care in the world. I’m not saying I think of Donna as a sister. No, no, no. But the feeling that all is right in this crazy, mixed up world transcends time and place and I’m overwhelmed with a feeling of contentment that I never want to end.

Tonight is the Friday before Christmas, the traditional night for C.J.’s yuletide gathering. I’ve spent the last few weeks coming to a realization and tonight I plan on acting on the recognition of what my subconscious has been screaming at me for a long while now. I just need the help of a few of Santa’s elves to make it happen.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Wednesday (Two days earlier)**

“Well hello, mi amour. How’s my favorite nitwit this afternoon?” C.J. sits behind her desk, shuffling through piles of newspapers while CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News play on the various television screens. I wanted a wall of T.V.s in my office too, but Donna put her foot down on that one. Something about me not being able to focus on one thing at a time as it is… And she’s probably right.

“Already with the nitwit thing? We haven’t even watched the damn movie yet. I figured I still had a few days before your yearly belittlement started.” I say begrudgingly but I know she carries no malice behind her words. This is just a little game we play because C.J. feels the need to help keep my ego in check.

“Au contraire. You’ve been particularly naughty this year so you’re getting the extended treatment.”

“C.J., you’re not going to spank me now are you?” I ask with a sly grin.

She narrows her eyes at me, glaring over her desk, “In your dreams my little nitwit.”

“Ah-kay,” I reply. I would keep messing with her, but I have bigger things to discuss.

“So to what do I owe this displeasure? You didn’t forget to get a Secret Santa gift again did you?” she asks. Last year I showed up late to C.J.’s party after a long verbal battle with an idiotic Congressman from rural Mississippi and in my haste, forgot the Word of the Day calendar I had gotten Sam on my desk. Thankfully, Donna had seen it as she was straightening up before she left for the party and grabbed it for me. That didn’t stop C.J. from attacking my forgetfulness for the evening.

“No, believe me. I won’t be forgetting my Secret Santa gift this year. Actually, that’s sort of what I wanted to talk to you about. I know the whole Secret Santa thing means we aren’t supposed to tell whose name we drew, but I need to tell you anyway.” I stop and wait for her reaction. She just nods and looks confused so I press on. “You know how you’re always telling us you’re our first call. Well, ring, ring C.J.” I say, waiting to see if she catches on. Her eyebrows raise, “Ookkkaaayyy… I’m sorry but I’m not exactly understanding where you’re going with this. What did you do? Please tell me you didn’t beat up a Santa Claus at the mall or something!”

“What? No, C.J., I’m being serious here.”

“So am I. There is a vast plethora of things we could be talking about here and I’m finding it quite impossible to determine which of those you are eluding to right now, so spill it Idiot Boy!”

“Ah-kay… well, I drew Donna’s name this year. And I got her something that I can’t give her until I’m sure she wants it.” A light bulb seems to go on in C.J.’s head at this statement.

“Joshua! If you show up with your genitals wrapped in red and green paper, I _will_ cut them off!” she yells.

“Jesus, C.J., no. I didn’t mean that. What the hell?!” My voice did that annoying thing where it gets high just now. “I mean, I’ll give her that too if she wants, but that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“Josh, can we please stop talking in generalities? Or about your genitals! Just spit it out for god’s sake!”

“I’m in love with her C.J.! I’m in love with Donna and now that I know that’s what’s been causing the hummingbird thing and the other feelings I’ve been having around her, I can’t stop thinking about it. And it’s driving me insane. I just… I want to tell her and I really hope she feels the same but until I know for sure, I can’t give her the Secret Santa gift,” I spill, blue in the face from running out of breath at the end of my declaration.

I try to catch my breath and finally look up at C.J.’s face. She’s grinning like the Chesire Cat. “I had lost faith in you mi amour. It’s a Christmas miracle!” She isn’t wielding an ax yet, and though I’m confused by her reaction, I can’t help but think that’s a good sign. “Hummingbird?” she asks.

“Ugh, yeah. Sometimes I get this flittering feeling in my stomach when I’m around her, like a hummingbird flying around in there.”

“Well isn’t that sickeningly adorable,” she replies with a grin. “Congratulations for finally realizing what most of us saw from, oohhhh, I’d say about day 1.” I crinkle my forehead in confusion.

“Josh, this isn’t news to any of us. You two have been dancing around each other since the Moment you met. Believe me, it’s not hard to miss. Just a second, I need to make a quick phone call,” she says before picking up her phone and dialing.

“Yeah, hey, Operation Idiots is under way. Round the troops and meet me in my office in 10,” she barks in to the phone quickly before hanging up. “Now, where were we. Oh, right. The whole you love Donna thing. Not to worry my darling. We are well prepared for this contingency.”

“We?” I ask.

“Of course. About a week after Donna started on the campaign, Leo pulled me aside and asked me to head up the Operation Idiots task force in preparation for the day you two idiots addressed the donkey in the room.”

“Donkey?”

“We’re Democrats, Joshua. Elephants are not allowed in this tree house,” she says with a wink. I nod my head in understanding.

“So, Operation Idiots? What is that exactly?” I ask. Just then, C.J.’s office door comes swinging open as Toby arrives, followed by Sam, Charlie, and Leo. I stare up dumbly at the group as they gather around C.J.’s desk. “Ugh, what the hell is going on here?”

“Wait for me! You better not start this meeting without your Commander in Chief,” the President bellows as he enters the office, slamming the door shut after two Secret Service agents flank the door.

“Mr. President?” I ask. My verbal skills have left me as I take in the fact that my closest friends, boss, and the President are all involved in some sort of scheme regarding Donna and I.

“Yes, Joshua, you can close your mouth now. You don’t think I’d really miss the chance to foster a great romantic tale like that of you and your lovely assistant do you?”

“No I suppose not sir,” I say, chancing a smile. If he’s okay with this, then the rest have no choice but to be. That takes one very big concern off my mind about my decision.

“Good. Now, what is our status C.J.?”

“Well, Mr. President, Josh here has only gotten as far as declaring his love for Donna and wanting to voice this to her. Also, there was something about needing help and something else about her Secret Santa gift,” she tells the room. “And let me tell you, it wasn’t easy getting that much out of him.”

“So you mean to tell me she doesn’t know yet?” Leo asks me pointedly.

“Ugghh… no. I mean, I haven’t talked to her about it yet. That’s sort of what I came in here for originally,” I explain. “I wanted to forewarn C.J. so she wouldn’t get blindsided.”

Sam pulls a binder out of C.J.’s bookshelf and opens it before saying, “Okay good. That takes the following contingency plans off the list: ‘Scandalous Secret’, ‘Little Lyman’, ‘Drunken Dumbass’, ‘Awkward Acknowledgement’, and ‘Office Orga…”

“Sam!” I yell, cutting him off as he crosses items off a list. I could see where that one was going and with Leo and the President in the room… I didn’t need it to go there. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“We had to be prepared for all eventualities. So we have plans for everything… you guys having a clandestine romance, a baby Moss-Lyman, you doing something stupid after a losing a battle with your sensitive system, one of you saying something gauche and it causing some awkwardness between you, someone catching you guys in a compromising position in your office…”

“Okay, okay, enough Sam. Thank you for that horrifying list,” I say incredulously. “So what plan do you have for ‘Josh realizes he’s in love with Donna and wants to tell her but is afraid she doesn’t feel the same’?” I ask, covering my face with my hands.

“That would be ‘Blind Baffoon’” Toby states from his perch against the corner of C.J.s desk.

“’Blind Baffon?’” I ask.

“Yes, you not able to see the obvious… that Donna is in love with you too,” Charlie says with a giant, saccharine grin.

“How the hell would you know that?” I ask nervously.

“Same way we know you are in love with her. It’s written all over every look. Every smile. Every time you guys participate in the mock arguing foreplay dance thing you do. Every time you communicate with half sentences that leave the rest of us wondering what the hell you’re talking about. There’s really no other conclusion,” Leo states simply.

“God, I hope you’re right,” I say, releasing the breath I’ve been holding.

“We are Joshua. For if there is one thing I know well, it is the ways of the telltale heart,” the President says with a flourish.

“So, mi amour. You came in here asking for help. What can we do for you?” C.J. asks.

I look around the room slowly, taking in the smiles and looks of genuine happiness radiating from each of my friends. The President looks particularly pleased. I’m sort of in a state of shock. I was expecting some backlash to be honest. I know what this could look like. White House Deputy Chief of Staff starts an illicit affair with his beautiful, young, blonde assistant. It has the makings for a Christmas gift for our enemies, fancy wrapping and all. But none of them seem to be worried about that. I’m relieved beyond belief that I seem to have the support of these people who have become my family. And this fills me with the strength to move forward with my plan.

“Um, well…” I start. “I know how I feel. And I know you guys seem to think you know how she feels, and as much as I hope to hell you’re right, I need just a little more assurance before I give her the Secret Santa gift I got her.”

“Okay. That’s a start. What is it about this gift that has you so worked up? I mean, besides the few thoughtful gifts you’ve gotten Donna over the years, you usually kind of suck in the gift giving department,” Sam says.

“Hey! I’m not that bad,” I defend.

“Josh, you got me a Word of the Day calendar last year. I’m a speechwriter for the President of the United States. Did you really think I needed a calendar to teach me new ways to convince the masses that our Tuition Reimbursement Plan is a good idea?”

“Couldn’t hurt,” I say with a smirk before Leo whacks me upside the head.

“Focus, Josh,” he grumbles. “What is this gift that is causing you so much anguish?”

I look down at my hands, contemplating whether I should show them or not. I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to see the President nodding down at me. I let out a long breath, stealing my nerves, then reach in to my pocket to remove Donna’s Secret Santa present. I pull out the small black velvet box and open the lid, placing it on C.J.’s desk for everyone to see. Everyone’s jaws drop almost simultaneously and I swear I can hear the gears in their heads grinding to a halt.

“It was my grandmother’s. Then my father gave it to my mother and after he died, she gave it to me. Besides my grandparents themselves, it was the only piece of our family that survived the Holocaust,” I explain.

Toby clears his throat and looks carefully at me, studying my face. I think he’s trying to gauge my sincerity. I couldn’t be more sincere. “Does this mean what I think it means?” he asks pointedly.

“I know this is fast and I know I haven’t even told her how I feel yet, but when I realized I’m in love with Donna, I realized that I’ve been in love with her all along, so it really isn’t that fast when you think about it. I mean, she’s already done the whole ‘in sickness and in health’ bit with me. And nothing would give me greater joy than to give her this ring and have her accept it. I have had Donna by my side these last few years and I am the best version of myself when I’m with her. I am only ever content when she is with me. I’m miserable when she’s not. If she’ll have me, I want to spend my life trying to make her as happy as she makes me. I want her by my side forever.”

I quickly glance around the room, realizing that probably sounded pretty cheesy. They’re all wearing small smiles and I’m pretty sure C.J. and Sam are holding back a few tears. I look to Leo and he gives me that approving smirk he only deals out when you’ve done something that makes him really proud. Since I lost my Father, Leo has been like a second Dad to me. Knowing I have his approval causes my heart to swell just a little more and helps calm my racing nerves.

“Alright then,” the President says, “what’s next?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Wednesday Night**

I spent the better part of the afternoon with the Operation Idiots team planning out the next couple of days that are bound to change my life forever… hopefully for the better. As I walk back toward the Operations Bullpen, I psyche myself up for phase one of getting Donna to marry me… Telling her how I feel. She’s sitting at her desk, typing furiously away. She’s wearing a deep red blouse and black skirt. Her hair is pulled up in to a lose bun, a few stubborn hairs falling in her face. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear and is biting her lower lip. She’s had old Burl Ives and Rat Pack Christmas music on at her desk occasionally. Not the cheesy stuff from more recent years, but the deep, rhythmic crooning stuff from back in the day. I notice she’s lightly tapping her foot along with the beat, though I can’t make out the song from this distance. She takes my breath away. The nerves are still there, but seeing her sitting there in her usual Donna manner brings me a sense of ease. This woman is already my life. I only wish I wasn’t so dense and figured it out years ago. We’ve wasted so much time. No more my friend. Carpe diem! Or in this case, Carpe Donna… yeah, I’m definitely bordering on cheesy lately. I push off the door jam and make my way over to her desk, sneaking up behind her while she concentrates on her computer screen.

“Hey!” I say in to her ear. She jumps slightly, nearly smacking me in the face as her arms flail in surprise.

“Josh! Are you trying to give me a coronary? Jesus Christ!”

“Taking the Christian lord’s name in vane, Miss Moss? Tsk, tsk… very dangerous this time of year, being his birthday and all. If you aren’t good, Santa won’t bring you any presents,” I smile down at her, raising an eyebrow. She looks up at me and smiles an evil smile, narrowing her eyes.

“Who says I’ve been a good girl this year anyway, Josh?” she challenges salaciously. See, these little boughts of flirting. They make me quite positive there’s at least _something_ more than friendship under the surface on her end. They also make my breath quicken and another more southern part of my anatomy flutter.

“Touché! It’s 6:30. What are you working on right now?” I ask, changing the subject and trying to steer it where I need it to go.

“It’s 6:45. Your crappy watch strikes again. Just the research for the Federal College Loan Forgiveness Bill you’re meeting with O’Leary about tomorrow morning. Almost done actually.”

“What time is that meeting?”

“Um,” she looks down at the calendar she keeps my appointments in on her desk. “Looks like 10am, Roosevelt Room.”

“So this is something you could potentially tie up in the morning before my meeting and still fill me in before I head in to battle?”

“I ssuuupppppppoooseeee…” she draws out, giving me a curious glare. “Why? You better not have something else you need me to do tonight, Josh. I was planning on finishing this up and heading home to get some wrapping done. With C.J.’s party Friday, I only have two more nights to get stuff in the mail if it’s going to get to Wisconsin before Old Saint Nick.” I laugh internally. She thinks I’m going to ask her to stay late for work. So this should come as a big surprise.

“Actually, I was going to suggest you shut down and we go grab some dinner. What do you say? Any chance you could put off your wrapping frenzy for a few hours?” I give her my best, most sincere smile. I’m pretty sure she enjoys my dimples so if I can smile enough to pop those babies out, it should help me get my way. Her face goes from confused to skeptical to possibly agreeable in seconds. I can hear my heart racing. If she doesn’t come out with me tonight, I don’t know when I’m going to get a chance to talk to her again before the party and the Secret Santa exchange. She finally, smiles back up at me.

“Okay, yeah, sure. Why not? But if we end up at Taco Bell, you’re a dead man,” she warns.

“Nope, only the finest eateries for you, Donnatella,” I reply playfully, grabbing her coat off the coat rack and holding it out for her. She lets me help her slip it on, shaking her head, no idea what’s about to happen. “Let me grab my coat and we’ll head out. Reservation is at 7:30. If we hurry, we can grab a drink at the bar before we sit down for dinner.”

“Reservation?” Oops. My little elf, Sam, set this up for me earlier. I forgot that I was supposed to play this off as spur of the Moment.

“Ahh, yeah. Sam had the reservation but got tied up so offered it to me. I figured it would be a good opportunity to take you out for a nice meal. Show my appreciation for all you do for me.” Technically, none of that was a lie. Sam did get the reservation and he is busy working on the President’s Christmas Eve speech. And I do appreciate all her hard work, but more importantly, I appreciate all the non-work related things she does for me, whether she knows it or not. The feelings I have for her… those are something to be particularly thankful for. I never thought I’d ever be this happy in life. And right now, I only get to be around Donna platonically. I can’t even fathom how I’ll feel if she agrees to see me romantically.

I try not to skip off to my office to grab my coat and backpack, quickly throwing both on and rushing back to Donna’s side. “Ready?”

“Yeah, are you?”

“More than you could know…” I reply.

I lead Donna through the West Wing toward the exit, my hand on the small of her back. A spot that I’ve come to consider my own. As we leave the warmth of the White House and enter the cool December evening, I feel Donna’s body shiver instinctively against the elements. She turns to head toward the parking garage, but I reach out and grab her by the arm, pulling her gently back toward me.

“Umm, actually, if you’re okay with the cold, we could walk.. It’s a nice night and the restaurant’s only a few blocks past Lafayette Park? I know it’s cold, but not unreasonably icy, so it shouldn’t be too bad of a walk. What do you say? You got a brisk walk in you there, Farmer Girl?” Donna squares her shoulders and pulls her bag up higher on her shoulder. She looks up at the sky, assessing the weather. It’s a clear night and if it weren’t for the city lights, we could probably see quite a few stars. The moon is nearly full and there’s only a very light breeze blowing a few loose tendrils of Donna’s hair across her face. She smiles slowly and brings her eyes back to mine.

“Well, Joshua, considering I did grow up in Wisconsin, I’d say this is a pretty mild night and thus suitable for a little stroll. Let’s go. You’re buying me a drink before dinner, Mister. Something yuletidey…”

“Yuletidey? Now _that_ is a Donna word,” I laugh as I hold my arm out for her to take.

“It should have cinnamon. Or maybe crème de mint!” she says as she hooks her arm through mine and we start walking along the path leading through the North Lawn. The trees along the sidewalk have white lights strewn through them and there’s a light coating of snow on the ground that almost glows as the lights reflect off it. It’s quite picturesque really. Donna’s still listing off possible ingredients for her holiday drink as we walk out the Northwest Gate and cross Pennsylvania Avenue in to Lafayette Park.

Just as she wonders out loud if they make gingerbread flavored liquor, I interrupt her diatribe. “Donna, as fascinating as you’re list of festive alcoholic accompaniments is… I promise to buy you _two_ drinks if you stop right there.” I look down and give her a playful smirk to lighten the blow.

“I’ll hold you to that. But you only get one drink.”

“If I’m buying, I’ll have as many as I want.”

“Nope. You know you’re sensitive system, Joshua. I’m not dealing with you hungover at the office tomorrow. We have too much to do this week.” She has a point. Plus I don’t want to ruin the evening by getting tanked and having to switch the plan to… what was it Sam called it? ‘Drunken Dumbass’? Yeah, not really how I want this to go down.

“Fine. You win. But I get to order dessert than.”

“Only if you order and actually eat a vegetable!” she counters. I can do that. “And potatoes don’t count, Josh!” Dammit. She’s good.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. See, you do seek to control me,” I tease, nudging her a bit with the elbow of the arm she’s holding.

“No, I seek to keep you,” she states matter-of-factly. I’m stunned silent, but somehow am able to keep walking as I stare down at her face and see her look of panic at her revelation. “I mean, keep you alive,” she says quickly. “You’re doctors told you to watch your diet but we both know that’s not going to happen, so that leaves it up to me. Don’t want you croaking out in the middle of a policy meeting now do we?” She covers her flub well, but she doesn’t realize the boost of confidence her Freudian slip gives me to go through with the plan.

I pull her just a bit closer and smile. “No, no we don’t want that.” We walk in comfortable silence as we exit Lafayette Park and cross H Street. She hasn’t asked where we’re heading yet, but I’m happy to keep it a surprise. I figure I’ll get her talking to avoid her asking before we arrive.

“So, when do you leave to see the Moss clan again?” I know she leaves Saturday afternoon, but if you get her talking about the Moss Family Christmas Extravaganza, she gets all cute and excited… and doesn’t shut up until she’s gone through all her cousins’ names and gifts. It’s a long list.

“Saturday at 2pm I fly out of National to Madison. I’ll be back on the 26th and don’t worry, I’ll head straight to the office once my plane lands.”

“Right. I can give you a ride to the airport if you don’t have one already. The President insisted we don’t come in this Saturday. I guess the Senior Staff’s collective hangovers after C.J.’s party last year made him decide we weren’t going to be productive anyway, so we’ve been sworn from the building for the weekend.”

“Haha, I heard. Mrs. Fiderer was reminiscing about how green you and Sam looked when she was handing out eggnog before the Senior Staff meeting last year. And that would be great. Thank you. But aren’t you going to visit your Mom in Florida at all, Josh? I gave you the flight options last week.”

“No, I know. I called her last week and she wants to come visit D.C. sometime in the next few weeks so I told her I’d skip the trip for now. I have some other things to take care of anyway,” I tell her. Of course she doesn’t know the things I have to take care of involve her.

“But you won’t have anyone to spend Christmas with. Neither will she,” Donna pouts, concern evident in her voice. “I could stay in D.C. You shouldn’t be alone on Christmas.”

“No, no, Donna. It’s not my holiday, remember? Plus, Mom already has plans to visit her cousin in Tampa so she’ll be plenty occupied. You haven’t been back to Wisconsin for Christmas in a few years. You should be with your family… or they’re going to start to hate me,” I say with a grin. “And I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.” She absorbs my words for a few seconds before finally caving and promising she’ll not worry about me and go see her family. I divulge the fact that I talked to Mom last night and told her about my intentions as far as Donna is concerned. She is more than pleased and her plan to come up later on is partially so she can visit when Donna (who both Mom and I hope will be my fiancé soon) will be in town as well.

We near the end of the block and the St. Regis. “We’re here,” I say as I release her arm from mine and return it to her lower back to allow her through the front door.

“The St. Regis? You mean, we’re having dinner at Adour? I’ve never eaten here but I’ve heard it’s amazing!” She’s practically jumping up and down in excitement. I giggle at her mirth and lead her toward the bar that sits outside the restaurant doors.

“I told you… only the finest eateries,” I say with a wink. I pull out a chair at a small table near the fireplace and allow her to remove her coat and sit down. I remove mine and toss it on the chair across from her. “Why don’t you search the cocktail menu for something yuletidy while I go tell the restaurant we’re here?” I hand her the menu from the middle of the table and run over to the hostess desk of Adour.

“Lyman, party of two. We’re a bit early, but we’ll be in the bar. Just let us know when our table is ready.”

“Sure thing Mr. Lyman. I have you down for a table with some privacy, sir?”

“Yes, please. That would be great. And a bottle of your finest red wine for the table, please.”

“Not a problem, sir. We’ll come grab you when your table is ready.” I give the hostess my thanks and practically jog back over to Donna. I find being away from her, even for a short time, is heart wrenching. I don’t know how I’ll survive the 3 days she’ll be in Cheeseland. She looks up from the menu, a victorious smile crossing her face. I can’t help but smiling right back.

“So, find something to fit the yuletidy bill?”

“Yep! They have a hot chocolate drink with Baileys, whipped crème, and crème de mint drizzled on top. Warm and yuletidy!”

“Alright, if that’s what the lady wants, that’s what the lady gets,” I declare as the waiter comes over to take our order. “She’ll have the alcoholic hot chocolate thing and I’ll have a ginger ale, please.” The waiter nods and heads back over toward the bar.

“The drink has a name, Joshua.”

“I’m sure it does, but he seemed to know what I was talking about anyway.” She rolls her eyes at me, but smiles none the less.

“So, ready for C.J.’s bash Friday?” she asks.

“Oh yeah, got my Secret Santa gift. And I was told to bring liquor, so I just got to stop and grab something on my way over. Will you be making your famous chicken wing dip? Because it’s not C.J.’s party without it. So you should probably make it. You know, so it doesn’t cause a thing.”

“In other words, you’d throw a hissy fit? Yeah, I’m aware of your tendencies to whine, Josh. I’ll make sure to bring some. If you’re extra good tonight, I might even make you a batch to bring home so you can have it on Christmas.”

“I better be good then.” I hope to hell she finds the night to be good. My nerves are starting to get to me. I know I’m fidgeting but I don’t seem to remember what I’m supposed to do with my hands. The waiter saves me when he drops off our drinks. I quickly grab my ginger ale, taking a long drink from the glass. Donna sticks her finger in the whipped cream of her drink and sucks it off her fingertip. I don’t think she realizes what that visual is doing to me, but let’s just say I end up with my coat in my lap to maintain propriety. I lean back in my chair and watch her bring her mug to her mouth, carefully sipping at her drink to avoid burning herself. I put my elbow on the arm of the chair and rest my head on my hand, enjoying watching her get some cream on her nose. She quickly wipes it away and takes another cautious sip, moaning her delight. “Good? Is it _yuletidy_ enough?”

“Oh yeah, and between the booze and the, you know, hotness, it’s warming me up very nicely. Why didn’t you order a drink?”

“You said I only get one or no dessert. I wanted to save it for dinner.”

“I’ve trained you well,” she giggles.

“I like to think I’ve learned a few things from you,” I say sincerely.

“Only fair I suppose. You’ve taught me a thing or two too,” she replies with a smirk. “Don’t let that go to your head, either.”

I grin. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Remind me some of those things again,” I jab playfully. Her face turns serious though.

“You taught me to believe in myself… that I’m intelligent and my opinion matters. You taught me that there are no wrong questions. You taught me to trust people again. And most importantly, you taught me the meaning of true friendship and loyalty.” She smiles and drops her head. I think she’s slightly embarrassed by her words. “And I suppose you’ve taught me one or two things about politics, too,” she laughs. I grin, but I’m not letting her off the hook that easy. This night is supposed to be about telling her how I feel. So I guess it’s time to test the waters before I jump in.

I lean forward and place my now empty glass on the table before scooting forward to sit on the edge of the chair. I reach over and take Donna’s mug from her hands and set it down as well. I see fear cross her delicate features. She thinks I’m about to let her down easy. I shuffle my chair around the table a bit closer to hers and take her hand in mine.

“And you’ve taught me to cherish the people around me. To not get lost in my own head and to step back every once in a while… not be so monomaniacal,” she smiles at that one. “You’ve taught me to trust my heart and that I’m not the bastard many people believe me to be. And most importantly, you’ve taught me that not everyone I love disappears.” Donna has tears threatening, but her never leave mine. I can feel the air between us charged and sparking. This is my Moment. “Donna, I need to tell you something. And I need you to hear my out before you reply or I’m not sure I will get through it. Donna, I lo…”

Right at that Moment, the waiter comes over and interrupts me mid sentence. “Mr. Lyman, the hostess in the restaurant just informed me that your table is ready. I’ve had your drinks charged to your table. They’re ready to seat you now.” I purse my lips and grind my teeth as I look up at the young man in frustration. If it weren’t for Donna squeezing the hand I still have holding hers, I probably would have pulled a nutty on the little twerp for disrupting my declaration.

“We’ll be right there, thank you,” Donna tells him. He nods and walks away. Dammit. I’ll have to wait a bit longer to get this off my chest. She looks over at me and gives me a soft smile. “Come on Josh. Let’s get to our table. We can talk more there.” I can’t help but smile back as I nod and stand, pulling her up with me. Rather than release her hand, I lace my fingers through hers and squeeze slightly.

We grab our coats and walk hand in hand in to the restaurant where the hostess shows us to our table. We’re seated at a small, intimate table in the back corner of the modernly decorated restaurant. I keep my chivalrous routine going and pull Donna’s chair out for her again before pulling my chair around closer to hers as I did at the bar. I can’t be that far away from her when I actually get the Moment try this again. The waitress comes over immediately, filling our water glasses and handing us each a menu while reciting this evening’s specials. I don’t think I hear a word that comes out of her mouth while I blindly pretend to look over the menu. I’m too busy fuming over the missed opportunity that waiter-boy ruined. I discretely do some of the breathing exercises Stanley taught me to help me calm down. I need to get my shit together before I do or say something stupid and ruin our evening completely.

As soon as the waitress leaves us alone, Donna kicks me lightly under the table. “Joshua, relax. We’re having a perfectly nice time. Don’t let your temper get you all worked up.”

“How do you know I’m not already calm?” I quip.

“Because I can hear your breathing and see your chest taking deep breaths. You’re doing your calming exercises. Don’t get me wrong, if it works, go for it. But please don’t get all worked up unnecessarily. We have all dinner to talk about whatever it is you wanted to tell me about.”

I take a deep breath and squeeze my eyes shut, then shake my head trying to clear it like an etch-a-sketch. “Ah-kay… I’m good. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just relax and pick out something to eat. The faster we order and get our food, the faster they’ll leave us alone… you know… uninterrupted,” she winks.

“Right. Food. Got it.” I look back down at the menu and actually make a concerted effort to read it this time. “What are you having?” I ask, attempting to lighten the conversation and bring it to safe territory for now.

“I’m thinking since you’re footing the bill, the lobster looks delicious. Might as well take advantage of you for all your worth,” she teases.

“Go ahead. You deserve it.”

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with Josh Lyman?” she asks incredulously.

“What? I told you, part of this dinner is to show you how much I appreciate you. And a lobster dinner will barely be enough to show my thanks.” The waitress comes over and pours the bottle of wine I ordered when we arrived. Donna eyes the bottle, then me, curiously.

“I’ll be back in a Moment to take your order,” the waitress informs us as she places the remaining bottle of wine on the table. I lift my glass and hold it toward Donna. She takes the queue and tips her glass toward mine.

“To you, Donna. May your holiday season be filled with love and laughter. And may I be lucky enough to be just a little part of it.”

“It wouldn’t be Christmas without celebrating with you, Josh. Even if it isn’t your holiday,” she replies with a giggle. We clink our glasses and bring them to our lips. I stare out over the top of my glass, catching Donna’s eye and gauging her sincerity. I see nothing but truth there. She really does want me with her... at least tonight.

The waitress comes back to the table and we order. Donna chooses the lobster after I insist and I order a lean steak, very, very well done. I don’t even try and sneak the asparagus off my order. Donna likes it when I eat green things. Once the waitress is out of sight, I take another deep swig of my wine followed by a deep breath. I stealthily pull my coat toward my lap under the table and pull out the small, wrapped box I’ve had hidden there. I keep it under the cover of the table and look toward Donna. The glow of the Christmas lights outside the window is illuminating her hair like strands of gold. The flicker of the candle on our table reflects back in her beautiful blue eyes. She looks amazing.

I pull the hand closest to her from beneath the table and cautiously place it on top of hers. “Donna, I know you’re leaving this weekend and with C.J.’s party Friday, I didn’t know if I’d have a better chance to do this. I have your Christmas gift, if you’d like to open it now.”

Her face lights up with that 1000-watt smile that puts shame to any of holiday displays I’ve seen. And that right there... that is her gift to me. That look of excitement, joy, and expectation. Anything else will be the cherry one top. I pull the box out from beneath the table and place it in front of her.

“Merry Christmas, Donna.” She looks down at the box and her smile grows bigger, if that was even possible.

“Josh, there’s nothing alive in here right? A lizard won’t be jumping out at me right?” she giggles.

I smile gently at her humor. “No, of course not. Go on. Open it. I’m getting anxious now,” I goad her.

“Alright, alright. I’m going to have to thank Margaret for the beautiful wrapping job, aren’t I?”

“Sam, actually,” I say. She looks at me curiously. “Long story... don’t ask. Come on, stop stalling.”

She pulls at the corners of the wrapping, careful not to rip the paper. Normally, I’d pick on her about her gift unwrapping technique, but not tonight. She finally gets the wrapping away from the box and pulls the cover off of it to reveal a silver charm bracelet. I made sure to pick out one that was more subtle and elegant than those god-awful ones with the huge charms that you can hear before you see. This one has a silver chain with tiny, delicate charms that I had even spaced around the bracelet. Donna looks down in to the box and her hand comes to her mouth in surprise. “Oh, Josh... I don’t know what to say.”

“Wait, wait... I have a little speech to go along with this. This is that part where I need you to let me get through what I want to say before you respond.” She looks at me in amazement as I pull the bracelet from the box and pull her hand toward me so I can clasp it around her wrist. The silver contrasts beautifully against her skin. I pull the bracelet around to where I want to start and finger the first charm.

“Each charm reminded me of you in some way. Skis... for that Christmas when you wouldn’t keep quite about wanting the whole setup.” She grins at this comment. “I really wanted to give it all to you then, but I was scared of what it might mean. What it might reveal.” I turn the chain over her wrist and finger the next charm. “An owl... to represent the knowledge we’ve shared. As we said earlier, I think we’ve both learned a lot from each other. A rose... to represent your beauty, which takes my breath away every day. A stoplight... I think you might remember this particular conversation. I wouldn’t stop for red lights either, Donna. And finally, a heart. This isn’t just any heart. This is my heart. The very same heart that skipped a beat the day I found you taking over my office. The same heart that stopped, but restarted in the hopes of being able to see you again. The heart that was nursed back to health by your caring and love after Rosslyn. The same heart that before I even realized it, has beat only for you since the day we met in New Hampshire.” I maintain eye contact and watch her eyes turn from surprise to disbelief to what I hope is understanding and love. What I see in her eyes gives me the courage to go on. “I’ve been stupid for so long, Donna. I think deep down, some part of me has always known how I feel about you. But I let the job, life, and fear get in the way. I don’t want to do that anymore. I know how I feel now. How I _have_ felt. I’m in love with you, Donna. I love you so, so much. This heart... this heart is a small token to show that you hold my heart. You always have. And you always will.”

Tears are now streaming down Donna’s face but her eyes hold a warmth and her lips curve in to a smile. I reach up and wipe an arrant tear from her cheek. Though her face and body language seem to show she’s not opposed to my revelation, she has yet to speak. This is Donna Moss we’re talking about. She doesn’t do speechless. So I’m a bit nervous at her quiet.

I hold her gaze and smile back at her. Finally, I look down, pulling one hand to my chest, resting it over my rapidly beating heart. “Donna, please don’t leave me hanging here... this heart can only take so much silent treatment after spilling itself to you.”

She laughs and pulls her free hand up to wipe at the tears remaining on her face. “I’m sorry, Josh. I just... this is very unexpected.”

I grimace and pull my hand from hers. “Oh, right. Sorry. Umm, just you know, nevermi...”

“No, no, no Josh. That wasn’t my attempt to let you down easy.” She quickly grabs my hand back in hers. I look back up at her, a glimmer of hope overcoming my being. “I’m sorry I let you think that for one second. This is all very unexpected... but not in the least bit unwanted or unrequited. Joshua, I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember. Like you, I don’t think I realized it at first, but I’ve been trying like hell to hide it for a long while now. I know we’ve always been more than just boss and assistant. But I never dreamed that you could feel anything more than friendship toward me. Please do not doubt how much I love you.”

She reaches up and runs her thumb across my cheek, clearing the tears I didn’t even realize were falling from my eyes. “Really? You really love me too?” I ask, needing the reassurance after the rollercoaster of the last few minutes. “Really, Joshua. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” she tells me. I am suddenly overcome with a feeling of intense relief and a level of joy I didn’t even know existed until now. I reach over and pull Donna’s face toward mine, planting my lips on hers. The kiss is like coming home. She’s warm and soft beneath me. At first, the kiss is one of acknowledgement and promise, but soon her tongue runs along my bottom lip and I am powerless to stop the kiss from turning passionate. Her mouth is sweet, the hot chocolate and wine mixing with the taste of Donna, and I would be happy to remain right here, doing this for eternity. Donna is a willing participant, running her tongue over mine, pulling me toward her with her hand buried in the hair on the back of my head. Finally, the need to breath wins over and forces us to break apart. I lean my forehead against hers, not wanting to sever our contact. Our breaths mingle as we both pant to regain control of our respiration.

“Wow, Donna!”

“Haha, you can say that again.”

“Wow.”

“Funny boy.”

“I mean... just... wow.”

“760 verbal? Harvard and Yale? I’m not so sure loverboy.”

“Donna, did you just call me loverboy?”

“Maybe...”

“Okay, 1) you can’t make fun on my lack of verbal abilities after a kiss like that... it’s just not fair. And 2) we’re gonna need to pick a nickname that doesn’t make me think of Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze dressed as Chippendales. Deal?”

“Fine. But I’m only letting you win because you gave me the only thing I’ve always wanted for Christmas.”

“A charm bracelet?”

“You.” I smile brightly at her statement, leaning in to kiss her quickly. “I love you, Donnatella Moss. And you better get used to hearing it because now that I’ve finally said it, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, Josh. I love you too.”

Our waitress warily approaches our table with a tray full of food. Apparently she has more tact than the dumbass at the bar. I pull slightly away from Donna, wrapping my arm around her back, and nod for the waitress to serve us. Once she’s refilled our wine glasses with the last of the wine and left us with our food, she hurries off and Donna and I are left with our steaming plates. We agree that as excited as we are with this new development in our relationship, we are also both famished. So we enjoy the delicious food and keep conversation light while we eat. She feeds me a bite of her lobster and she denies a bite of my steak (I guess its too burnt for her tastes), but helps herself to some asparagus and potato. She wipes a dribble of steak sauce from the corner of my lip and I kiss butter from her chin. We both finish our wine, but with all the food, my sensitive system doesn’t act up much and I’m able to keep my wits about me.

Once we’re done eating, we push our plates back. I pick Donna’s hand up in mine, pulling her knuckles to my mouth to kiss them. “You know, I was a little nervous that finally confessing my love to you would somehow change us. And I was a little scared that the new us wouldn’t be the same. But I’m realizing that though it has changed us, it hasn’t made us something different. It’s more like an... enhancement. We’re still Josh and Donna, but now I get to do this,” I say before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. I can feel her smile against me and my heart swells.

The waitress comes back to clear our plates. “Would you like to see our dessert menu?” Donna smiles up at the young girl. “Yes, please,” she says.

“Wait.” I tell our waitress. “Donna, did you want anything?”

“No, I’m good. I’m stuffed plus that hot cocoa was like a dessert in itself. But I thought you wanted something since you were a good little boy and didn’t get a drink at the bar.”

“I’m good for now,” I inform the waitress before asking for the check. I turn back toward Donna and lower my voice huskily, “Plus, I can think of something I’d rather have for dessert.” I lean over and pull her earlobe between my teeth, pulling gently. She giggles and pushes me away. “Joshua, we’re in a nice restaurant. I don’t think you can have _that_ here.”

“Then how about you come back to my condo for some dessert?” I ask hopefully. “No pressure. I just don’t want this night to end yet.” She looks up at me, a question in her eyes, then allows the smile to break out on her face.

“Okay. Let’s go. We can watch a movie. You still have popcorn right?”

“Of course my dear. I would never eat it without you.”

“Then take me home, Joshua.” I pay the bill and gather our coats, helping Donna in to hers. We walk outside on to the sidewalk, hand in hand, in to the cold. The snow is coming down a bit harder and the wind has picked up. I pull Donna back under the awning of the hotel and can’t help but rolling her against me and stealing a quick kiss.

“This weather’s gotten a bit crazy. Why don’t we just take a cab?”

“Sounds like a brilliant idea.”

“Ah-kay.”

The doorman hails us a cab and we hop in it, giving the cabbie the address for my condo. Donna leans in to me, resting her head against my shoulder. We ride in comfortable silence, taking in the snow falling around us. She runs her fingers over the back of my hand, tickling my skin and causing shivers to run down my spine.

As we arrive at my condo, I toss way too much money at the cabbie and take Donna’s hand to help her out of the car. She follows me inside where we remove our coats and scarves, letting the warmth of the apartment awake our shivering limbs. I take Donna’s cold hands between my own, rubbing them to get the blood pumping. She smiles up at me as I take her hands to my mouth to kiss them. She pulls her hands from my grasp and pulls me in to a hug that knocks the wind from my lungs. I wrap my arms around her back and hold her tight, burying my nose in her hair. She smells faintly of the outside and coconuts, the later scent I know to be from her shampoo. The hug doesn’t hold any innuendo, but gives us a touchstone of the familiar… of our relationship before tonight. Something to build off from in this new territory we find ourselves in. I pull away and place my lips to her forehead.

“How about I make us some coffee and you pick out a movie?” I suggest.

“That sounds great,” she agrees.

I tentatively leave her in front of my DVD collection and head in to the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with two steaming mugs. Handing Donna one, I lean over her shoulder to see what she’s picked.

“Die Hard… not what I was expecting.”

“I can choose something more chickflicky if you’d prefer,” she threatens.

“No, no. Die Hard will be just fine, thank you. Did you want popcorn before we start the movie still?”

“Nah, I’m good for now. Still full from dinner.”

“Ah-kay,” I reply, sitting on the corner of the sofa, one leg stretched out along the back and the other with my foot resting on the floor. I look up at her and wiggle my eyebrows, patting the spot between my legs I’ve left open for her to occupy. She smiles and shakes her head at me, but comes over and snuggles up with her back against my chest, laying her head back on my shoulder. I find the remote and start the movie.

We settle in sipping our coffee and enjoying the movie. We sit snuggled together, my arm wrapped around Donna’s midsection, hers holding mine to her, our legs tangled on the couch. The level of comfort between us does not go unnoticed. I occasionally lean forward and kiss the top of her head. She occasionally comments on the movie, pointing out particularly funny parts. Eventually, she turns her head to meet my lips when I lean down to kiss her and we end up making out pretty hard core for a while as the movie credits role. Yeah, I could definitely get used to this.

Donna is the first to pull away, lips swollen and her shirt untucked. I look down and notice mine is in a similar state, with a few buttons undone. I guess we both got a little carried away. She pushed her hair back off her face and runs her thumb along my lips.

“I think you may be wearing more of my lipstick than I am, Josh,” she laughs.

“I’ll deny it if you ever repeat it, but at the Moment, I don’t really mind,” I answer, pulling her back toward me. But her hand slides between us against my chest, holding me back.

“Joshua, as much fun as this is, I’m not the type of girl that goes all the way on the first date.”

“I know that,” I reply quickly. I don’t want her to think I expect _that_ tonight. Soon? Hell yes. But I want to do this right. “Donna, I know we know just about everything about each other already and are very comfortable being ourselves when we’re together, but just because we may have a head start in the emotional and personal relationship department, we don’t need to rush in to the sexual relationship. The last thing I want is to make you feel cheap in any way. I do love you and very much look forward to sharing a physical relationship with you, but I want us both to be 100% ready before we go there.”

I must have said something right, because she’s smiling down at me and her hand is stroking my cheek lovingly. “Joshua, I must say I’m really enjoying seeing this sweeter side of you a bit more than normal tonight. I love you, too. And I think that’s a great plan.”

“Get used to the sweet,” I chuckle, pulling her back down to lay against my chest. “Boyfriend Josh is all about the sweet, Donnatella.” I feel Donna stiffen beneath me and panic takes over my body. Shit! Why did I use the “B” word? I know I have grand plans for Friday night, but I was hoping to ease in to it. As much as you can ease in to a proposal in 2 days at least. I can’t see her face to read her reaction and my mind is instantly going in to self preservation mode. “Donna, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to assume… I mean, I know we have done the whole ‘I love you’ thing, but we never labeled anything and I don’t mean to…”

“JOSHUA LYMAN! Relax. Breath. Just calm down and let me talk a minute, okay?” She’s pushed herself up slightly and is looking down in to my eyes. I see a small grin and a light in her eyes. Maybe I was jumping the gun with the whole freaking out thing. “I’m sorry, my body language was probably a bit confusing there. You just surprised me, that’s all. You’ve been doing that all night in fact. I guess I should be getting used to it by now…” she trails off.

“Donna..”

“Shh, be still and listen.” She places her finger over my lips. “We’re fine. You maybe did assume a bit, but it brings up a good point. What are we to each other? We haven’t been just boss and assistant for a long time. Probably ever really. And we’re way past just friends. So, let me say for the record, I don’t plan on seeing anyone else. One of you is plenty for me to keep up with. How about you? Got any hot, brunette, power hungry floozies waiting in the wings?”

Her finger remains on my lips, keeping me from vocalizing my answer, so I smile and shake my head ‘no’.

“Okay. Joshua, would you like for us to be dating exclusively then?”

I nod ‘yes’.

“Well then, if I’m not mistaken and things haven’t changed drastically in the relationship world since my last date… which we won’t discuss how long ago that might have been… I believe that would make you my boyfriend and me your girlfriend. And I’m perfectly okay with that if you are?”

I nod my head furiously, pulling her hand from my mouth and bringing her soft face to mine. We seal our new agreement with a soul searing kiss and I gather her in my arms, hugging her tightly against me.

“Thank you, Donna.”

“For what, Josh?”

“For wanting to be with me. For loving me. For accepting me as I am, flaws and all.”

“Mmm, your welcome. And thank you, for all of that and for having the courage to finally make a move,” she giggles. I tickle her in retaliation for that little comment before she pins my hands under me.

“As much as I’m enjoying our evening, it’s getting late and we have to be at the office tomorrow. I should head out,” she says.

“No!”

“Josh, I thought we agreed we’d wait.”

“Yeah, we did. I’m still with you there. But that doesn’t mean we can’t sleep… JUST sleep… together. We’ve done that before. After Roslyn and when we’ve worked here late in to the night. Plus, now that I finally have you, I don’t want to let you go. You still have some clothes and your girly bathroom things here. Stay. We can catch a cab in together tomorrow. Both our cars are still there anyway. I promise to be the perfect gentleman. I just… I just really want to hold you.”

I can see her mind at work as her face contorts in thought. Finally, a grin breaks out on her lips and I smile in victory. “Do you still have that old ‘Bartlet for America’ t-shirt and Scooby Doo boxers?”

“Of course. Those are yours. I wouldn’t get rid of them.”

“Well, technically, I suppose they’re yours, but I will need something to sleep in. Sleep! That being the optimum word.”

“Of course. Sleep. And cuddle. Don’t forget the cuddling,” I tease as she eases off me and we stand up from the couch. I take her hand and lead her toward my bedroom and to my dresser where I pull out her traditional nightwear from when she’s crashed here before. She disappears in to the bathroom to change and I quickly strip down to my boxers and undershirt before jumping on to the bed. When she reemerges from the bathroom, all washed up and comfy in my old shirt and boxers, I swear she looks like an angel. I pull the covers back from her side of the bed (yes, she has a side… like I said, we have slept in the same bed before) and she slides in. I pull her against me and she snuggles against my side. Her head lies on my shoulder, hands rest upon my chest, and her smooth legs tangle with one of mine. I cradle her body with one arm and reach across my chest to join my free hand with one of hers, laying them over my heart.

“Do you feel that Donna? It beats only for you. Only you…” I say as I start to drift off to sleep. I lean down and plant one final kiss atop her head before I feel the comfort and contentedness of lying with Donna overtake my body and sleep set in. The last thing I remember before finally dozing off is Donna snuggling her face into my chest, kissing me through my t-shirt before mumbling “Love you, Josh…” in a sleepy voice.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thursday**

_What the hell?!_ I wake up with a start. I swear someone pinched my side. My faculties slowly return and I remember the night before. _Donna_. I open my eyes to see her peering down at me, an evil smile plastered on her face. She looks adorable in the morning light. Her hair is wild and her face soft and rested. I could definitely get used to waking up like this every day. “You awake now sleepy head?” she asks with a giggle.

I moan, stretching my arms above my head before quickly dropping them to grab a hold of Donna and flip us over so she is beneath me. “Think you’re funny huh?” I challenge before leaning down and capturing her lips in mine… _morning breath be damned_! We kiss languidly while I try and hide my morning arousal, amplified by our activities, from Donna. I don’t want to pressure her. The kiss heats up for a few minutes before Donna pushes against my chest.

“Josh, we keep that up and we’ll never make it to work. We should get moving.”

I bow my head, resting it against her shoulder. “I’d say call your boss and tell him your sick, but I don’t know if he’d believe you,” I jest. “Raincheck?”

“You better believe it.” With that, Donna rolls out from under me and saunters in to the bathroom. I hear the shower turn on and sigh in frustration. Donna is naked. And wet. In _my_ shower. I need to get my mind off that imagery if I’m going to continue being a good boy. I decide to attempt my luck with the coffee maker. Any distraction is helpful. I head out in to the kitchen and manage to get the thing working. I hear the shower turn off as I’m popping a bagel in to the toaster. A few minutes later, Donna emerges from the bathroom, dressed and running a towel through her hair. “Breakfast is served,” I say as I hand her a bagel (only a little burnt) with cream cheese and a mug of hot coffee. She smiles and kisses my cheek.

“Thanks. That was very sweet of you. Now go get showered and dressed or we’ll be late. I don’t think _your_ boss would be too pleased with that.”

She slaps my ass lightly as I make my way toward the bathroom. “You’ll pay for that later,” I warn.

“Counting on it.”

I am showered and dressed within 10 minutes. I find Donna at my table, sipping her coffee and reading the morning papers. She must have gone out to the front steps to collect them while I was getting ready. She points to a bowl of oatmeal and a coffee sitting in front of the chair beside her. “Sit, eat. We have time for you to scrounge this down before we need to call a cab.”

“But I made you a bagel. Why do I get oatmeal?”

“First of all, no whining, and second of all, you need to eat more heart healthy things, Joshua. It’d be a shame for all the hard work those doctors did putting Humpty Dumpty back together again to be for not when you stroke out from too many burnt hamburgers, now wouldn’t it?” she sternly replies. Then her voice goes softer. “Plus, I’d miss you. I’d really like for you to be around for, you know, maybe another 50 years or so.” I can’t contain the megawatt smile I know to be plastered on my face. In the past 12 hours, Donna has told me she reciprocates my love, then snuggled with me all night and I got to wake up to her beautiful face, and now she’s force feeding me animal food in the hopes that I am around longer… insinuating that those added years would be spent together. This all does wonders to ease my anxiety about the surprise I have planned for C.J.’s party in about 36 hours.

“Ah-kay.” I sit down and feign extra disgust (for show, of course) as I take a bite of the gooey, bland substance. I take two more bites before washing it down with some coffee. It’s actually not quite as terrible as I was anticipating. I don’t remember the last time I ate oatmeal but I don’t remember liking the experience. But I taste a hint of cinnamon and a slight sweetness.

“Where did you even find this? I wasn’t aware I even _had_ oatmeal.”

“I bought it back when I was staying here when you were recovering. I was worried about what eating your Lucky Charms and bagels for breakfast every day was going to do to my girlish figure. And glucose levels. Luckily for you, oatmeal doesn’t really go bad. And no complaining. I even doctored it up with cinnamon and just a tiny bit of sugar for you. Now finish up.”

“Thank you. It was sweet of you to think of me like this.” She smiles after she sees my gratitude is sincere. I reach over and take her hand in mine, linking our fingers together and squeezing. I finish my oatmeal and chug the rest of my coffee while Donna calls for a cab.

We arrive at the White House on time by some miracle. I escort Donna through the West Wing, my hand in its usual spot on her lower back. When we get to my office, she informs me I have a staff meeting in the Oval in 5 minutes and she’ll inform me of the rest of the day’s schedule when I get back.

She quickly settles in at her desk and gets right to work; probably finishing up the stuff for the Federal College Loan Forgiveness Bill thing with O’Leary I have latter this morning. Diligent as always… that’s my Donna. I gather my things and brush by her, allowing my hand to brush her shoulder on my way by. When I get to the Oval, the rest of the Senior Staff and are already gathered and their conversation comes to a halt when I enter the room. The President rushes over and closes the door behind me before grabbing my arm and pushing me toward the sitting area where Charlie, C.J., Sam, and Leo are looking at me with anticipation in their eyes. Toby, in his usual Toby manner, is sitting in the corner of the couch picking imaginary lint from his tie. The President rushes around to stand in front of me. “So? How’d it go?” he asks.

“Sir, shouldn’t we maybe discuss the, you know, running of the country thing first?”

“Poppycock, Joshua. I want details. The country isn’t burning down… well, that I know of,” he looks to Leo for confirmation. Leo nods shortly in affirmation. “Right. So… spill it kid!” he demands. I smile at his excitement and begin to relay the highlights of the evening, leaving out the whole where we went after dinner part. They don’t need to know that piece of the evening.

“See! Told you you had nothing to worry about!” Sam said with glee.

“Yeah, it definitely helped ease my worries when she said she loves me back. And she said a few other things that make me think she wouldn’t be against the idea of making this a permanent arrangement. I just hope the quickness of it all doesn’t end up scaring her.”

“You’ll be fine my boy. You have love and God knows that woman knows the best and worst of you. What else is there really?” the President states.

“Thank you, sir. I hope you’re right.”

“Well, tonight will be a good chance to get the whole ‘coming out publically as a couple thing’ over with then,” C.J. says.

“Tonight. Why tonight? Not that I care. I think I’ve made it quite clear I’m ready to shout it from the rooftops.” I rack my brain trying to discern what C.J. is referring to.

“Josh, I know I’m dense and often times could care less… much less… about the frilly goings on around this place, but even I remembered that tonight is the Congressional Christmas Party. Please tell me you haven’t hit Alzheimer’s early,” Toby says. Shit. I did forget. In all the epiphany stuff and planning for Operation whatever, it completely slipped my mind. Donna must know, though. I wonder why she didn’t mention it. She’s usually chomping at the bit for stuff like this.

“I didn’t forget. I just didn’t recall that it was happening tonight.” Leo comes over and slaps me in the head.

“Ow! What? I can fix this. I’ll go talk to her about it as soon as we’re done here, before the O’Leary meeting. It’ll be fine.”

“Joshua, a girl needs time to get a dress, do her hair and makeup, etcetera, etcetera,” C.J. informs me with a leer. I mull this over in my head. Guys just have to throw on a tux and done. I forget about all the girly things that the opposite sex has to do for events like this.

“Okay, I’ll let Donna leave early so she can find something to wear and get ready?” I ask. I don’t know what else to do here.

“She’s going to need some help to pull this together so quickly, mi amour. I’ll come whisk her away after my final briefing as long as no crisis comes up between now and then. Have her ready to go at 2pm sharp. The party starts at 7… hopefully that’ll give us enough time,” C.J. offers.

I don’t even want to contemplate why the hell 5 hours will be needed for two women to get dressed and ready for a Christmas party, and I’m definitely not curious enough to ask. “Thanks, C.J. I appreciate it and I know she will too.”

“Do you think maybe we could discuss, I don’t know, affordable healthcare or our message for the Christmas speech rather than dresses, parties, and Josh’s love life now?” Toby nearly yells. The President excuses Charlie and we get down to business and spend the rest of the meeting on topic.

I rush back to our bullpen afterwards and find Donna preparing a file on her desk. I run up to her, gasping for breath. I haven’t gotten a chance to jog much lately and apparently that fact has become obvious.

“Josh, good, you’re back. Everything you need for O’Leary is right here. You have an hour before he gets here, so I suggest you do some cramming in your free time.”

“Donna… I… have… a question,” I pant out.

“Catch your breath first, marathon man, or we might be here a while before you get it out,” she teases. I throw her a warning look but decide to let the little jab go in the interest of time. I take a few deep breaths, getting my wheezing under control, before cocking my head to the side, indicating she should follow me in to my office. I close the door behind her to keep our conversation private. The Senior Staff and Charlie are the only ones who know about the change in our relationship and I don’t want to inform everyone else through an overheard chat.

I sit on the edge of my desk and Donna takes the seat directly in front of me. I reach out and take her hand in mine, trying to convey that its nothing to worry about.

“Donna, tonight is the Congressional Christmas Party. I know that little detail didn’t escape you. You love these things. I admit, I kinda forgot until the Senior Staff so gently reminded me in the Oval just now. Why didn’t you say anything?”

She looks down at our joined hands, her thumb moving in circles over my fingers. “I didn’t think you’d want to go since last year’s didn’t go so well and if you’re not going to go, I don’t want to go without you.” Last year, I put my hand through a window after the Congressional Christmas Party. Yo-Yo Ma should have been a delight, but at the time, my brain turned his music (and any other music around me) in to sirens and I couldn’t escape the hole I had fallen in to. Donna saved me last Christmas. She got Leo to force me to talk to Stanley. And between Stanley’s help and Donna’s support, I’ve come a long way in a year, if I do say so myself. I can listen to music without reliving that terrible night at the Newseum now. It breaks my heart to know that Donna was going to give up something she enjoys so much so that I won’t be uncomfortable. I was so stupid. How could I not have seen that she loves me?

I reach down and lift her chin with my free hand and look deeply in to her eyes, hoping she can read my earnestness. “Donna, that was a long time ago for me. I’m much better now. I don’t want you missing out on the things you love to protect me. And I don’t associate this party with that event. It was pure coincidence that it happened at that time. I don’t tie the two together necessarily.” I flash her a reassuring smile. “So, I’d like to officially ask you… Donna, would you be my date to the Congressional Christmas Party tonight?”

Her face lights up, but then falls quickly. “Josh, I don’t have anything to wear. Is your tux even clean? Plus, we still have to talk to Leo and the President… and everyone else I suppose. We should tell them about us before we cozy up on the dance floor together. I’d hate to cause a scene at the party. And you have a full day…”

“Donna, stop right there,” I insist before she continues rambling on. “I’m giving you most of the afternoon off. C.J. is going to come get you at 2pm to go and get a dress and do all the other girly things you ladies need to do to get ready. My afternoon is mostly just meetings with Sam and Toby. I think I can manage a few hours on my own. And My tux is all dry cleaned and ready, I just need to run home and change.”

“Wait… C.J. knows?” Crap. Maybe should have led with that.

“Ummm, actually, a few others know too.”

“Who exactly? And sense when?”

“Well, let’s see. There’s Sam. I may have overstated his whole part in the reservation last night. But I didn’t lie!” I asserted quickly. “We already said C.J. So that just leaves… Charlie, Toby, Leo, and the President.” I cringe waiting for her reaction.

“Joshua! How the hell do they all know already? This happened just last night!”

Crap. If I tell her about the whole Operation Dumbasses thing, she might start digging and get the info on the greater plan out of one of my little elves. Sam is a pushover and when you want information from Toby, you just need to annoy him long enough that he’ll give in and tell you what you want to know just to shut you up. Both of these things Donna knows well. So I attempt to stretch the truth a bit.

“Well, I went to C.J. about this yesterday. When I finally came to the conclusion that I couldn’t wait any longer to tell you I love you, I knew I should give her fair warning in case the press happened to get wind of it somehow. You know how she always says she’s our first call.” She seems to accept that piece of the puzzle so I go on. “And Sam’s my best friend and one of your best too. I needed his help with setting up dinner last night and I didn’t think you’d mind if he knew. Plus, if things had gone the other way… if you hadn’t returned my feelings, I was going to need someone to drown my sorrow with and prevent me from jumping in front of a bus.” She giggles at that statement.

“And Toby, Charlie, Leo, and the President?” she asks.

“Umm, I may have been coerced in to telling the story of our dinner last night during our staff meeting.”

“Joshua! Please tell me you didn’t inform them that I slept in your bed last night? I know we didn’t do anything, but I don’t think I’d ever be able to look Leo or the President in the eye again,” she asks, mortified.

“Calm down, Donna, calm down. I didn’t reveal that part of our evening… though it was one of my favorite parts,” I wink. “And don’t worry, they were all very happy for us. I guess they’ve all seen it coming for some time now. So much so that C.J. suggested we use tonight as a sort of coming out opportunity,” I relay as I stand up and pull her close. “We can arrive together.” I kiss her right cheek. “We can dance together… nice and close without having to worry about impropriety.” I kiss her left cheek. “And when the night is done, we can leave together.” I move my mouth to hers, kissing her gently before pulling away to gauge her reaction. “What do you say? You want to be my date? We don’t have to make some big announcement, but we also don’t have to hide our feelings. From what the Senior Staff tells me, that will be enough to get the message across.”

She smiles, the anxiety that was masking her face the last few minutes now gone. “And what message would that be?” she asks with a knowing grin.

I take the bait. “That I love you with all of my heart and no other gomers are allowed anywhere near you from here on out. And that by some miracle, you love me too so my fan club better back off.”

“I think you’re overestimating the size of your fan club there, Joshua.”

“As long as there’s at least one member, I’m happy,” I tell her. “So? Are you in my love?”

“On one condition,” she says with an evil glint in her eyes.

“And what would that be?” I ask. She pulls me in to her, her hands rubbing up my sides, then making their way around my lower back before she slides them over my ass. I inhale quickly under her ministrations and am lost in the sensation. Before I realize it, Donna’s hands are off my rear end and she’s flashing her wallet in front of my stunned face.

“I’m a girl on a budget, Joshua. I didn’t budget for an evening gown, so…”

I grab the hand holding my wallet and bring it to my lips, planting a soft kiss on her knuckles. “That was evil, Donna. You can’t play with my libido like that.” I pull my credit card from the wallet and toss it over my shoulder toward the desk. “I should really be punishing you, but I don’t think the logical part of my brain is working right now, so here. Have fun. Just don’t leave me completely broke. Oh, and since I’m funding this little shopping trip, I do have one request.”

She takes the card with a victorious smile. “And what would that be?”

“Red. I really, really like you in red.”

“Hmm… I will take that request in to consideration. And really, Josh, thank you. For smoothing things over with the others, for letting me leave early for a shopping spree your funding, but mostly, for opening up to me and for loving me and for not wanting to hide it. Because I don’t think I could do that for too long.”

I can’t help smiling. “You’re more than welcome. Thank you. Without you, without your love - voiced or not - I would never have gotten to this point… emotionally and probably physically as well. You give me the strength to grow and are the reason I keep striving to be a better man. I love you.” I pull her in to a tight hug, never wanting to let go. But I happen to see the clock out of the corner of my eye and realize I need to prepare for my meeting with O’Leary that is now only a half hour away. I pull away and plant a kiss on Donna’s forehead. “So, back to work for now, but I promise we’ll dance together like this later tonight.”

“Deal.” She releases me and turns to head back out in to the bullpen. I sigh as she leaves my office, missing the warmth her embrace radiated through my body. But the world keeps turning and I need to get my head back in to the game, so I sit down at my desk and start studying the materials Donna has prepared for my 10 o’clock.

The rest of the morning and early afternoon go by fairly quickly. The meeting with O’Leary goes well… I’m comfortable that my powers of persuasion (and the info that Donna fed me with this morning) were enough to get him to back the bill and bring a few of his friends along with him. Donna and I work through lunch. She runs to the mess and gets us each a salad. I provide the customary whining over eating green things. She supplies the ribbing over my aging body and heart. Soon enough, 2 o’clock has rolled around and Donna sticks her head in my office to say a quick goodbye. I wish her luck and remind her I will be picking her up at 7:30pm as C.J. is dragging her toward the exit, mumbling something about getting out of here before I change my mind.

I putter around the office, my motivation leaving the building along with Donna. I have my meeting with Toby and Sam, but contribute very little. I think both noticed my lack of attention, but thankfully neither brought it up. Finally, 6:30 winds around and I dart out of the office and home to change. I shower and actually run a comb through my hair. Most days, I just towel dry it run my hand over it a few times. But I want to look nice for Donna. I know she’s putting in the effort so only fair I should at least try. It takes me all of 30 minutes to shower, put on my tux (minus the tie… I’ll save that for Donna), and head out the door. I arrive at Donna’s early and decide to wait in the car a few minutes. I told her 7:30 and I’m not dense enough not to realize women usually need every last minute of prep time in these situations. But my lack of patience soon gets the better of me and I find myself knocking at her door, shifting from one foot to the other. Why the hell am I so fidgety? I shouldn’t be nervous for god’s sake. This is ridiculous.

I knock once again and hear Donna yell, “Just let yourself in, Josh. I know you have a key.”

I quickly fish my key ring from my pocket and open her front door. Donna is nowhere in sight, but I can hear her moving around her bedroom, just off the small living room.

“Hey, sorry I’m early. I, ugh, it was a slow afternoon,” I lie. It was, but only because I made it so by mentally checking out around 2 o’clock. I wonder around her living room, inspecting the little trinkets she has lining her bookshelves. I’ve been here hundreds of times, but I don’t usually take the opportunity to take a good look around and absorb all that makes this little apartment Donna’s home.

“I’m just about ready. There’s stuff to drink in the fridge if you’re thirsty. Give me 5 minutes.”

“Ah-kay. No rush, I’ll just go through all your personal things while I wait,” I joke.

“There’s nothing out there you haven’t seen, Josh. Just don’t break anything,” she laughs.

I come upon a photo displayed prominently on the mantle over her non-functioning fireplace. The photo is of the whole group: Charlie, C.J., Sam, Toby, Leo, Donna, and I. It’s a candid shot the White House photographer caught at a fundraiser during the Midterms. We’re all dressed to the nines, much like we will be tonight. Everyone looks relaxed and jovial, probably because for once we were more guests at the event than players. I know the photo well. I have a smaller copy of it on my bedside table at my place. What I notice anew, though, is the way, even then, Donna and I are looking at each other like we’re the only two in the room. How did I not see this sooner? I must have seen this picture just about every day for the last few years. I guess maybe I never took the time to truly look at it though. Because with what I see now, I can understand why everyone else has known there was something between Donna and me for longer than I have allowed myself to.

The abrupt opening of Donna’s bedroom door startles me out of my trance. “Okay, I think I’m just about ready…” I turn to see Donna dressed and hopping no one foot as she tries to put a shoe on while in motion. She immediately takes my breath away. She left her hair down and styled it in loose waves around her face. Her makeup is subtle but done to somehow make her eyes brighter and bluer than ever before. And the dress… I have no idea how much she spent on it, but it was money very well spent in my book. It’s a bright red, a shade or so darker than the one I told her she should buy for herself when she wore it a few years ago for a date with dome hapless gomer. It’s sleeveless with a v-cut neckline that is somehow formal, but at the same time accents her chest and leaves my mouth dry. The dress if form fitting at the top, but then loosens at the waist a bit and goes to the floor. I notice the slit running up the side of her leg, from the floor to halfway up her thigh, allowing her long, porcelain leg to peak out beneath the contrasting material. She’s wearing some white strappy heels that make her even taller and bring more attention to her legs. And she’s finished off the look with a simple silver pendant necklace and the new bracelet I gave her yesterday. Simply magnificent in every way.

“Josh… Joshua? Hello, is there anybody in there?” She’s standing a few feet in front of me, waving her hand in front of my face and I realize I’ve been standing here dumbfounded with my jaw on the floor since she stepped in to the room. I shake my head, thinking that will clear the fog that’s given me tunnel vision, allowing only Donna’s beauty to enter my eyeline. Nope, that didn’t work.

“Hey, ugh… wow… umm…” I stutter, at a loss for the words to properly express my appreciation of her exquisiteness. Then I remember some saying about actions speaking louder than words so I close the gap between us, wrap one hand around her lower back and use the other to pull her mouth to mind. I pour my soul in to the kiss, trying to communicate through my lips in tongue what I wasn’t able to verbalize. Donna’s hands are tangled in my hair and she’s giving as much as she’s taking. Finally, the pesky need for oxygen forces us to part and I lay my forehead against hers, our panting breaths mingling in the space between us. My arms are now encircled around her waist and her hands lower from my head to rest against my chest.

“You look amazing, Donnatella. I know I’ve told you that before, but tonight… you’re beauty astounds me,” I finally say.

She chuckles lightly. “You look quite dashing yourself, Joshua. Though we need to do your tie before we head out.”

“You sure we really need to go to this thing? I could think of other ways to show you my appreciation,” I suggest… mostly in jest.

“This was your idea. And I really wanna show off my new dress. And my new bracelet. And maybe my new boyfriend?” How can I say no to that? She’s proud enough of our relationship that she’s ready to flaunt me around like a piece of meat. Who am I to deny the woman her simple wish?

“Fine. We’ll go. But only if I get to flaunt my beautiful new girlfriend around as well?”

“I suppose that’s only fair,” she agrees. I release my hold on her body and reach in to my jacket pocket, pulling out my tie.

“Would you do the honors?” I ask, raising my eyebrows up and down.

She lifts the collar of my shirt, takes, the tie from me, and wraps it around my neck to begin tying it. “See… you’d be lost without me,” she says with a grin as she finishes her handywork, smoothing her hands over the tie to make sure its straight. I take hold of both her hands in mine, bringing them to my lips.

“Truer words were never spoken, my dear.” Her eyes get a bit misty.

“Joshua Lyman, if you make me ruin my makeup before we even get out the door, you’re a dead man.” Humor and banter have always been our mechanism for avoidance when things have gotten heavy between us, so I’m not surprised she resorts to it here to keep her composure.

“I will do my best to behave then. Shall we?” I ask as I toss my coat back on and hold out an arm for her. She grabs her coat off the back of the couch and slides it on, covering the red dress that is sure to be staring in my dreams for weeks to come. She links her arm through mine and grabs her purse from the side table as we exit her apartment and head in to the cold December air. I open her door for her and hurry around to the driver’s seat. Our hands meet over the center console and remain latched through the drive to the White House.

Upon arrival, I keep up the gentleman act, running around the car to open the door for her and help her out. The valet takes the keys and we walk arm in arm through the elaborately decorated entrance. It’s as if Christmas somehow elegantly vomited on the place. I take Donna and my coats over to the coat check and rejoin her, giving her my arm so I can escort her in to the ballroom. I smile at her as she looks up at me and silently communicates she’s ready for our big reveal.

We enter the ornate grand ballroom of the White House and I feel Donna stiffen slightly as we enter the room. There isn’t a huge press pool at the event, but about a dozen or so reporters are camped out in the press area, snapping pictures of the guests as they arrive. I reach over with my free hand and squeeze the hand Donna has resting on my forearm. “Don’t worry, you look absolutely stunning and there’s no one I’d rather have with me,” I whisper in here ear in truthful reassurance. I feel her body relax a bit but leave my hand on hers as we step in to the view of the photographers. The flashbulbs start going off and I’m pretty sure I have a big smile on my face. I really couldn’t be prouder to be here with Donna, finally able to show her and the rest of the world how much I love her.

“Okay, this isn’t so bad,” she says quietly so only I can hear. We have stopped in front of a large, over-decorated Christmas tree and are turning to give each photographer a chance to get their shot. The faster we do this, the faster we can get on with the evening. I feel a wave of playfulness overcome me and decide to act on it. I surprise Donna – and everyone else in view of our little photo op – when I lean in and plant a kiss on Donna’s cheek. She lets out a small squeal of shock and as if on instinct, reaches up to cup my face as I draw out the kiss. The flashbulbs become blinding as I pull back slightly and see her wide smile. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” I whisper.

“I suppose I will let it slide. This time. But be warned, payback’s a bitch,” she says with a soft smile.

“Looking forward to it. I think we’ve fed the dogs enough for tonight. Shall we go find everybody?”

“Please.”

I wave a goodbye to the press pool while they continue to shout, “Josh! Donna!”. I know they’d like a verbal explanation, but I feel that we said enough. They should be able to figure out the rest on their own.

I survey the room, seeing C.J. and Toby leaning against the bar. C.J. nods and winks at us. I think she approves of how we handled our arrival. If I didn’t know Toby better, I’d swear he was wearing an approving smirk as well. Leo, the President, and the First Lady are at the head table in conversation with the Senior Senator from New Hampshire. Sam and Charlie are sitting at a table adjacent to them. Sam spots us and waves animatedly, indicating he saved two seats for us. We walk over to our table as our two friends rise to meet us. Sam pulls Donna from my arms in to a tight embrace. “You look stunning, Donna. I’m not so sure about this accessory though,” he says, nodding his head in my direction.

“Thank you, Sam. You don’t look so bad yourself! And I don’t know, I think he matches with me pretty well,” she tells him as she pulls out of his embrace and looks at me with warmth. I smile at her, reaching over to give her hand a quick squeeze.

Charlie gives Donna a quick hello and hug. “He gets to be a pain in the ass, you call me. I’ll take care of it,” he tells her while giving me a faux-stern look.

“That’s very sweet of you, Charlie. I’ll keep that in mind,” she replies.

“Hey, you do know I’m right here, right?”

“Of course, Joshua. Can I help it if I have people to stick up for me?”

“ _I_ stick up for you!”

“Yes, but it doesn’t hurt to have back up to help me keep you in your place.”

“You can keep me wherever you’d like, my dear,” I smirk back, raising my eyebrows suggestively.

She laughs and takes a step to stand directly in front of me. She brings her hands up to smooth out my tie, resting them on my chest. “I’ll hold you to that,” she says in a low, gravelly voice that gets my heart racing. I swallow hard. It still amazes me how quickly she can take control of a conversation and shock me to the core. It’s one of the many things I love about her. She challenges me without trying to belittle or dismiss me, unlike other women I’ve dated over the years. I wrap my arms around her lower back and place a chaste kiss on the tip of her nose.

“May I interest the lady in a dance?” I ask as the beginning notes of a familiar Goo Goo Dolls song fill the ballroom.

“I’d love to,” she replies.

I notice the dance floor only has a dozen or so other couples occupying it as I escort her to the center of the room, holding her hand in mine. I place my left hand on her hip, bringing our joined hands to my mouth to place a kiss to hers before settling them against my chest. She blushes slightly at my public display of affection, but wastes no time bringing her other arm up around my shoulders, using her fingertips to run through the hair at the back of my neck. We begin swaying, completely in synch, to the music…

 _And I'd give up forever to touch you_  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't wanna go home right now  
  
And all I can taste is this Moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
When sooner or later it's over  
I just don't wanna miss you tonight  
  
And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

Our eyes are locked and the room begins to disappear around us. All that exists in this Moment is Donna in my arms, her body moving with mine to the notes of the song…  
  
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the Moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

This verse always gets to me. It reminds me of the dark time exactly a year ago when I was lying to myself and subsequently, everyone around me, in pretending I was okay when I really was not. But Donna saw through me… and when I hurt my hand, she stopped letting me lie. And it’s made all the difference.  
  
And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am

As the song fades away, the room begins to come back in to focus, but we remain linked on the dance floor. “That’s one of my favorite songs,” she says softly.

“I know. I’ve noticed you playing it at your desk quite a few times. I may have mentioned it to the D.J. I like it too. I can get where that guy is coming from.”

She chuckles lightly, but then her face turns serious and she fixes her gaze on me. “I do, you know… Know who you are I mean.” I should have known she’d understand my meaning, as indirect as I am in conveying it. “And I love who you are… very much.”

Her words rock me. Deep down, I think I knew she knows who I am… who I really am. Not the Bartlet’s Bulldog Josh Lyman, but the man Josh Lyman who secretly fears losing those most important to me, who’s ego is often a cover for underlying insecurities, who hides behind humor and innuendo to prevent the raw emotion just under the surface from being exposed. And to hear her confirm that is a feeling I can’t really explain. All I know is I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with this woman. I can feel tears filling my eyes as I ruminate, so I blink hard to try and keep them from falling. She notices my distress and pulls my head against her shoulder to help me hide my tears. I don’t mind Donna seeing me emotional, but we’re in a room full of Congressmen and Senators who I need to be able to intimidate when necessary. Shedding tears in front of them would be counterproductive to my work. Again, I’m amazed how well she is able to anticipate my needs and act to fulfill them. I hold her tight in our embrace, my arms connected behind her back. I clear my throat against her neck and lift my head to whisper softly in her ear.

“Donna, you have no idea how much that means to me. I love you so, so much. Thank you for loving me… the real me.” I pull back and look deep in to her glowing blue eyes, seeing nothing but love and affection. Close the distance between us, meeting her lips with mine. The kiss remains PG due to our audience, but I do my best to convey my love and gratitude just the same. We part and share a smile. Donna brings her hand from behind my neck and brushes her thumb across my lips, wiping her lipstick from them. I grab her hand as she goes to pull it away and place a final kiss to the pad of her thumb before enveloping it in mine and pulling her with me off the dance floor. I wrap my hand protectively around her waist as we make our way back to our friends at the table, not to show possession, but to keep close this woman who I hold so dear to my heart. She doesn’t seem to mind since I find her head resting against my shoulder as we walk through the crowd. Once we reach our seats, I notice the group, including now the President and First Lady, are all looking at us like we just stepped out of a scene from a chick flick: all soft smiles and misty eyed. Except Toby, of course, who’s face remains characteristically stoic.

“What? What are you all staring at?” I ask with a chuckle. Sam, the ever-emotional one of the group, comes up and wraps his arms around Donna.

“I just.. *sniff*… I didn’t know you had it in you, buddy, but you guys… I mean…” Sam laments as I try and shimmy Sam off of us. C.J. must sense my discomfort because she comes over and peels Sam from us.

“Okay, Sparky, you maybe need to form your thoughts more completely before attempting to voice them. Pull it together. Ainsley is staring at you from across the room,” C.J. warns him. That seems to get his attention. He stands up and straightens his tie, clearing his throat.

“Right. Sorry. Umm… Josh, Donna, I just want you to know I’m very happy to see you both so happy finally. That’s all I was trying to say.”

I look down at Donna, who is visibly suppressing her laughter at Sam’s antics. “Thank you, Sam. That means a lot to us. And we are,” she tells him as she looks up at me and grins.

The remainder of the evening goes off well. At different points in the evening both Leo and the President pull me aside to reiterate their support and impart advice… stressing the importance of putting my relationship with Donna first. I could tell a part of Leo regrets what happened to his marriage and the President and First Lady haven’t had the easiest time of it since we got to the White House. I vow to ensure that Donna comes first. I think we all know that without her, I’d be useless as a political operative. I had my successes before I met her, but I’m the best I’ve ever been because of her and to lose her would render me unable to go on, let alone remain a productive member of the party.

I’m not the only one who’s been on the receiving end of unsolicited advice tonight. I saw both C.J. and the First Lady talking to Donna for a while throughout the night. But otherwise, we enjoy a nice dinner with our friends. I do some smoozing with some of the House and Senate guests with Donna at my side, providing insightful dialogue to the conversations. We also sneak in a few more dances together, which are my favorite activity of the night. I find I’m most at piece when I have Donna in my arms.

Toward the end of the party, “Santa” shows up with a few “ho, ho, ho”s for the crowd and leads the crowd in a couple of Christmas Carols before the crowd starts to gradually thin out. At the end of the night, I sit at our table, Donna in my lap, surrounded by Toby, C.J., and Sam as we swap old war stories and laugh together. The President and First Lady retired a little while ago with Charlie and Leo escorting them to the residence before heading home for the evening. There’s a permanent smile on my face, partially due to the humorous stories, partially due to the company of friends, but mostly due to the fact that the woman I love and who loves me back is sitting on my lap. And it doesn’t hurt that she’s been running her hand through my hair, massaging my scalp, throughout the conversation. I look up in to her smiling face and catch her yawning. I glance down at my crappy watch and guess that it must be after 10pm and we have to work tomorrow before C.J.’s party.

“Hey, Cinderella, are you ready to head out before our carriage turns in to a pumpkin?” I tease.

“I don’t think the Audi will be turning in to a giant squash any time soon, Prince Charming,” she giggles. “But I am getting a bit tired and we have to be back here in the morning.”

“Alright, well let’s say our goodbyes and I’ll take you home.”

We say goodnight to everyone, and while Sam has Donna in yet another hug (I might be jealous if I didn’t know better), I pull C.J. aside and ensure everything is ready for tomorrow night. She guarantees me that everyone has been given their tasks. All I have to do is get her the ring so she can put it under the tree with the rest of the gifts. I tell her I plan on getting there a bit early so that shouldn’t be a problem. Feeling better about “Operation Idiots” (as our friends so lovingly call it) being under control and further assured that Donna will agree to marry me in just under 24 hours after her words to me during our first dance tonight, I think I’m as ready as I will ever be to officially start the rest of my life.

I bring Donna home and though I walk her to her door, we both agree to stay in our own apartments tonight. Our emotions are in overdrive and as much as I want to make love to Donna tonight, I know that we’re both exhausted. I’ve waited this long, I’m fine with waiting one more day until we’re engaged and will have more time to spend together without the worry of work impeding on our first time. We share a long, lingering, passionate kiss tonight and I surrender to the fact that a cold shower will be required before I’ll be able to sleep, but judging by the aroused look on her face when we finally pull away from each other, I get the feeling I’m not the only one.

“Thank you for a wonderful evening. I love you, Donnatella Moss. Sweet dreams,” I whisper as I kiss her hand.

She smiles and cups my face in her hand. “I had a truly wonderful time. I love you, too. I’ll see you in the morning.” She pulls my head down, planting a kiss to my forehead before retreating in to her apartment and waving goodbye as I walk backwards toward the exit.

I get home, take that cold shower, and lay down for bed. Donna’s scent lingers on my bedding and though I find myself having trouble falling asleep without her in my arms (even after only one night), I finally drift off in to a peaceful slumber.


	5. Chapter 5

**Friday**

I’m awoken by the sound of my phone ringing. I sleepily fish around my nightstand for it, knocking the alarm clock I haven’t figured out how to set to the floor. I give up and sit up in bed, finally spying the phone.

“Hello?” I ask groggily. I’m not a morning person and it often takes me a few Moments to get my bearings when I first wake up.

“Good morning, my love. Pick your alarm clock up off the floor, get dressed, and I’ll see you at the office in an hour. Don’t forget, you have that thing with Leo at 8.”

How did she know I knocked my alarm clock over? Wait! Did she just call me her “love”? My morning haze riddled mind finally begins clearing and the events of the past two days coming flooding back to my consciousness. I’m suddenly very awake and wearing a big smile.

“Good morning, beautiful. I’m up. Thanks for calling and waking me… I missed holding you last night. Maybe we could, you know, do that again soon?” I ask tentatively.

“I missed you too,” she says and I note the sincerity in her voice. “Maybe after the party tonight? I could bring my luggage with me and you could do the good boyfriend thing and bring me to the airport tomorrow.” I smile at the perfection of her suggestion.

“I suppose I could handle that. Though if I get you here, I may be tempted to keep you.”

“I may be tempted to stay… but do you really want to piss off my parents by kidnapping their Prodigal Daughter on Christmas? Especially now that we’re in a relationship?”

“No, no. Point taken. I suppose the last thing I want to do is be the target of the wrath of Jane Moss, huh?” I ask with a shudder. I’ve only met Donna’s parents once when we were campaigning in the cheese state, but between that encounter and the numerous phone conversations and emails I’ve received from her over the years, I’ve come to the understanding that the woman is NOT to be toyed with. She actually almost reminds me of Mrs. Bartlet, but just a tad more scary. Thankfully, I don’t think she hates me or anything, but I’d rather not try her patience. Like a mother bear, she’s fiercely protective of her young and god help the idiot who dares cross her.

“Probably not the smartest idea,” she laughs. “But don’t worry, Dad still would like you. For some unknown reason, he seems to be quite smitten with you, Joshua.” Dave Moss and I hit it off right away. He and I get each other. He’s got a quick wit and knows his Democratic politics. He has no problem emailing me his complaints about how the administration handles something he feels passionately about and always had intelligent, respectful arguments when he doesn’t agree with me. He also has no problem sending me jokes about Republicans, which I tend to enjoy heartedly. Donna takes after him in more ways than one. I never really analyzed it, but maybe some of the same reasons Donna and I jive so well are why Mr. Moss and I do. Well, besides the whole being in love with each other thing. I have it on my “to do” list to call him today… his blessing isn’t necessary, but I respect him enough to at least ask. I doubt he’ll object, he does seem to like me, but liking your daughter’s boss and liking the man who is (going to be) sleeping with her and marrying her are two completely different things. My stomach does a little flip when I think about this. I just hope the hell Mr. Moss answers the phone before Mrs. Moss does!

“Alright, I’ll see you at the office in a bit then?” I ask.

“Yup, I’ll be there. I love you.”

“You know, I don’t think I’ll ever tire of hearing you say that. I love you too, Donna. See you soon.”

With that, I hit the end button on my phone and quickly hop in the shower. I want to stop at Starbucks on the way in and get Donna and I breakfast.

By the time I get to the office, my crappy watch reads 7:30, so it’s somewhere between 7:20 and 7:45. Donna is already at her desk, dressed in a red v-neck sweater that dips just low enough to tease me (but not enough to be inappropriate) and form fitting black dress pants. God, what this woman does to me! I walk briskly past her desk toward my office, taking advantage of her concentration to hide the coffee and bag containing our breakfast from her view.

“Good morning, Donnatella,” I call over my shoulder as I enter the office and set things down on my desk. I toss my backpack behind my desk and hang my overcoat on the coat rack beside the door.

“Morning, Joshua. Why so chipper?” she calls from her desk.

“Hmm, I don’t know. May have something to do with finally getting to see my girlfriend for the first time in 12 hours,” I call back. I flop in to my chair and wait. Within seconds, she rushes in to the office, closing the door behind her carefully.

“Joshua! I know we’re out, so to speak, but we need to keep up the professional demeanor at work. We don’t need to give anyone any reason to think we can’t handle working together, and comments like that shouted across the bullpen are NOT helping.” She’s so cute when she’s pissed off.

“Got you in here, didn’t it?” I ask with a grin before pushing one of the steaming cups of coffee across the desk toward her.

“What’s this?” she asks, confused.

“I believe its called coffee. Or more specifically, a gingerbread latte from Starbucks. Oh, and I got us each one of those cranberry bar things you like so much too,” I reply, pointing to the pastry bag.

“Oh,” she says, staring at the offerings, still wearing a slightly bewildered expression. Finally she looks up, he face softening. “You’re really very sweet sometimes, you know.”

I smile up at her, “Yeah, don’t let that get out. It’d ruin my reputation.” She smiles and sits in the visitor’s chair, taking a sip of her coffee and pulling our breakfast out of the bag. She neatly unwraps two napkins and sets the bars on them, pushing one toward me and pulling the other closer to her.

“Alright, Josh, down to business,” she says before diving in to my schedule for the day. We spend the next 10 minutes going over today’s tasks while eating our breakfast and sharing the occasional smile. Then, she shoos me off toward Leo’s office for my meeting.

The day moves quickly as I attend 3 meetings in a row, but thankfully nothing too crazy pops up. Finally, around 11 I get a few free minutes to make the call to Wisconsin that I’ve secretly feared since I realized it was the right thing to do and shouldn’t be avoided. I just need to find a place to make it that Donna won’t stumble across. I see Sam across the corridor and jog up to him.

“Hey Sam, my man. What’re you up to?” He doesn’t look up from his file as he continues walking, barely acknowledging my presence.

“Toby insists I rewrite the veteran’s section of the Christmas Eve speech. I don’t see what’s wrong with it, but I have to get it done if I want to make C.J.’s party tonight. I feel like the Cratchet to his Scrooge!”

“So, Toby’s being Toby? Shocking. Hey, can I use your office for a few minutes?”

“What’s wrong with yours?”

“Donna can hear what I say when I’m in there?”

“Well, yeah. Why does that matter?”

“Because the phone call I need to make might tip her off to my plans for tonight…” I say quietly, looking around to ensure she’s not within ear shot. She can be stealthy.

“What kind of phone call do you have to… wait!” he stops in his tracks, finally looking up from his file. “Are you calling her parents?!” he whispers.

“Maybe… Well, if I can get up the nerve at least.”

“Well, Josh, do wonders never cease? I didn’t know you had it in you to be such a traditionalist,” he says with a smirk. “Better hope Mrs. Moss doesn’t answer the phone.” Sam has some understanding of how Donna’s mother is as well.

“Yeah, thanks buddy. Really helping my nerves there, pal,” I say sarcastically. He laughs and grabs me by the shoulder, pushing me down the hall toward his office.

“Here, make yourself at home. Do you want me to stay in here with you? You know, for moral support… or to make sure Mrs. Moss doesn’t somehow materialize through the phone and attack you?” Sam asks, enjoying my pain.

“No,” I grimace. “But thanks anyway. You’re a _real_ help.” He just laughs, pats me on the shoulder, and shut his office door behind him, leaving me alone to make the call.

I sit behind Sam’s desk and pull my cell phone out, staring at it for a second. _This is gonna suck._ I scroll through my contact list, finding the right number, and hit send before I chicken out. I hesitantly pull the phone to my ear, hearing it ring ominously. By the third ring, I feel a glimmer of hope that they’re not home and mentally pat myself on the back for trying. Not my fault they weren’t there. At least I tried. Just as I’m about to end the call, though, I hear it connect and any relief I was just feeling immediately leaves my body. _Shit!_

“Hello?” Thankfully, a male voice answers the phone.

“Hi, Mr. Moss? It’s, ugh, it’s Josh Lyman.”

“Josh! How are you, young man?” he asks with a warm tone that helps ease my nerves a bit. “Is everything okay? Is Donna alright?”

“I’m great, sir. Everything’s great. Donna’s… great.” I swear I got a 760 verbal, but my powers of speech have seemed to have left me right now.

“Good, good. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call then, son?” I know it’s just a saying, but to hear him call me son puts me further at ease and I take a deep breath, pulling together my courage to proceed.

“Well, sir, I called to talk to you about Donna actually. I would like to do something and I wanted to talk to you first,” I say, skirting around the subject.

“Oookkkayyy,” he draws out.

“You see sir; I had a bit of an epiphany recently. And I realized that your daughter means much more to me than I could ever imagine. I love her, sir. So much,” I confess.

“Hmm, I see. And have you told her this, Josh?” he asks with what almost sounds like a hint of humor in his voice.

“Yes, sir. I took her to dinner a few nights ago and told her everything.”

“And what did she have to say about all this?”

“For some reason, she returned the sentiment, sir,” I laugh nervously.

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” he laughs. “From what little I’ve seen, you two have been circling around each other for quite some time.”

“That’s what people keep telling me, sir,” I reply, feeling much better after hearing him laugh at my idiocy.

“Well, son, what was it you wanted to do then?”

“Hmm?”

“You said you called because you wanted to do something but wanted to talk to me first. So, what is it?”

Right. I almost forgot about the whole proposal thing. I take a deep breath before I speak again. “Sir, I know this probably seems fast, but I want to give Donna my grandmother’s ring. I want to ask her to marry me. I love her more than life itself and I can’t imagine not living out the rest of my years making her as happy as she makes me. And I’m calling because it would mean a lot to me, and I know it would mean a lot to Donna, if we could have your blessing. I want you to know, I’m going to ask her either way. I love her too much to not. But I would feel much more at ease doing so if I had your support, sir,” I finish, holding my breath waiting for his reply.

“Wow, Josh. This is quite the development,” he replies with a sigh. “Well, son, I won’t say this is fast. You’ve known each other for years and though the nature of your relationship has just recently changed, it’s been lying in wait under the surface for some time. But before I give you my approval, I need to know something, Josh. I know your job is your life. Are you ready to change that? Are you ready to make Donna the first priority? To make your marriage paramount to everything else? To make sure your mutual happiness is your main concern and not strong-arming some Republican Congressman blowhard in to submission?”

“Yes, sir. If I had to, I’d give up my job in a second for her. I’d give my life for her, sir,” I say honestly.

“Alright then, Josh. Welcome to the family! When are you planning on proposing?”

I don’t answer right away, the shock of his consent overwhelming me. “Ugh, tonight sir. At C.J.’s Christmas party,” I finally reply.

“Tonight? That is fast. Well good luck, son. Though I doubt you’ll need it. If I know my little girl, she’s been in love with you since she met you,” he chuckles.

“Thank you, sir. I hope so. Please give my regards to Mrs. Moss,” I request.

“No need, you’ll be able to do that tomorrow night,” he says matter-of-factly.

“Sir?” I ask in confusion.

“When you and Donna fly in for Christmas. You’ll be spending the holiday here with us, my boy.”

“Really, sir, I appreciate the invitation, but I don’t want to intrude on your family time.”

“Nonsense. You’re going to be part of this family now too, Josh, so get used to the idea that you’ll be attending quite a few Moss gatherings,” he laughs. “And to be completely honest, I haven’t seen my little girl in almost a year. If you propose to her tonight, she just might be tempted to cancel her trip and spend the holiday with her new fiancé. And as much as it would kill me to miss this time with her, her mother would be homicidal. So, you WILL be flying here with her tomorrow afternoon and you WILL be spending Christmas with us. This is not an invitation, this is an order. Do I make myself clear?”

I swallow hard. Mr. Moss has never threatened me before, so I’m not quite sure what to make of it, other than to agree. “Yes, sir. I’ll look forward to seeing you and Mrs. Moss tomorrow night then. Thank you, sir.”

“That’s what I thought. Well then, make sure Donna calls us tonight, I don’t care what the hour. I’ll meet you both at the airport tomorrow night. Take care, Josh,” he says, his tone back to its more familiar softness.

“I’ll make sure she call, sir. And Mr. Moss,” I pause, “Thank you again. For everything.”

“No need, Josh. And no more ‘sir’ or ‘Mr. Moss’ you hear? You call me Dave. Or Dad, if you’re comfortable with it. I’m not the President and if you’re going to be my son-in-law, I don’t want family being so formal,” he says with a laugh.

“Yes, sir. I mean Dave,” I quickly correct myself. I’m not ready to call him Dad just yet. I don’t want to jinx anything.

“Bye for now.”

“Bye,” I reply, ending the conversation. Well, I guess I’m going to Wisconsin. Sam comes bounding back in to his office while I sit, still trying to collect my thoughts.

“Well, how did it go? What did he say?” Sam asks excitedly.

I look up at him, still somewhat stupefied. “He wasn’t surprised, really. And he gave me his okay on one condition.”

“What’s that?” Sam asks.

“I had to agree to go to Cheeseland with Donna for Christmas tomorrow,” I tell him with a frown.

“Yikes! Christmas in Wisconsin with her entire family? That’ll be interesting,” he laughs at my predicament.

“Can it, Seaborn, or I’ll convince Donna you wanted a Cheesehead hat and have her guilt you in to wearing it around the office when we get back.” He gulps audibly at my threat.

“Right. Well, at least tonight is all set then. Hey, do you want me to have Cathy get you a plane ticket for Donna’s flight?”

“That would be great, actually. Donna always does that sort of thing for me, but I don’t want her to know about it until after I propose.”

“Anything I can do to help,” he says with a smile. “I’ll have her email you your itinerary.”

“Thanks, Sam,” I say as I leave his office. “I’ll see you at C.J.’s.” He really is a good friend and as long as Donna says yes tonight, I plan on asking him to be my best man.

I head back to my office, a renewed skip in my step. I have everything set up for tonight and I have Donna’s father’s approval. What more can a man ask for?

Donna and I work through the afternoon and 5pm comes quickly. It seems early for us to be leaving, but Leo knows our plans for the evening, and though he was invited as well, he insists we all get out of the office while he holds down the fort for the night. No one argues and the West Wing becomes a ghost town within minutes. I walk Donna to her car, sneaking a kiss to the top of her head before she gets in. I promise to meet her at C.J.’s in a few hours.

I hurry home to get changed and grab everything I need for the night, which is really just the ring. I bought a large gift box a few days ago so wrap it in so the shape doesn’t give anything away. I even put a heavy book in the bottom of the box, under the ring box, to weigh it down and packed the rest with newspaper to throw Donna off. She likes to shake her gifts before she opens them.

I also quickly pack a bag with enough cold weather gear to hopefully get me through a few days in Wisconsin. I don’t want to worry about having to pack once I get Donna back here tonight.

I arrive at C.J.’s by 6:30 to find the rest of our friends already there. C.J. told Donna the party is scheduled to start at 7 so I have a half hour to double check everything. C.J. is rushing around putting out food and drinks. Toby is sipping on a glass of amber liquid on the couch, staring at ESPN on the television. Sam and Charlie are in the kitchen putting beers in to the refrigerator. Christmas music is playing on the stereo and C.J. has the place decorated tastefully with a large tree in the front corner of the living room. I notice a stack of gifts beneath the tree. Everyone must have already put theirs there. I walk in front of the TV and shut it off.

“Hey, guys, can you all come in here a second?”

Everyone stops what they’re doing and gathers in front of me. “Okay, so, I just want to go over the game plan one more time. C.J., the ring is in here,” I say, holding the box up to her. “I’ll put it under the tree with the other gifts, just remember to do this one last when you’re playing Santa.”

“Got it my little nitwit.” I sigh at her nickname of choice.

“Okay, moving on. Charlie, you’ve got the song ready to go?”

“Everyone’s favorite D.J. is ready to go, Josh,” he assures.

“Good. Sam, you’ve got my plane ticket?”

“Yup, just a sec.” He runs over to his coat and hands me the ticket. “Here you go bud.” He hands me the ticket folder and I put it in the inside pocket of my coat, which C.J. takes and puts in her bedroom with the rest.

“And Toby, you promise not to make any noises during my proposal? No comments on my word choice? No grunts of disgust?”

He stares in to his glass. “As long as you keep the bourbon coming, I promise to be on my best behavior,” he agrees. I look to C.J. and she nods at the full bottle sitting on the countertop.

“Okay. I know this is pretty out of character, but before Donna gets here, I just want to thank you all for your support and help with all this. It really means a lot to me and has made this whole thing with Donna a lot easier for both of us,” I say earnestly.

“Oh, Josh,” C.J. says with tears in her eyes. “We love you guys and are just happy you’re finally doing this.”

“Me too,” I say as she pulls me in to a hug.

“Oh, that reminds me!” Charlie interjects. “The President and Leo wanted me to give you this,” he says as he pulls an envelope from his back pocket and hands it to me.

I flip it over in my hands. “What is it?” I ask in confusion.

“I don’t know. They didn’t say. They just said to make sure you opened it before Donna got to the party.”

I nod, wondering what it could be. I slide my finger under the flap and tear it open. Inside is a letter on the President’s personal stationary. I unfold it and read it to myself.

_Joshua,_

_Leo and I wish we could be there with you tonight for this Momentous occasion in your young life, but I don’t think the Secret Service would be too keen on me sneaking out for a party and you know how Leo insists on never leaving this building. Anyway, we’d like you to know how proud we are of you and though we don’t say it enough, how grateful we are for the sacrifices, both physical and personal, you’ve made for this administration._

_I’m overjoyed that you’ve found in Donna something besides politics to live for. As you know all too well, our time of this blessed earth is fleeting and thus should be spent surrounded by the ones we love. I wish you all the best in your new life with our lovely Donnatella. I’ll be personally giving her my congratulations when you return from your trip (Sam told me about it)._

_As our gift to you and Donna, Abby and I would like to offer up the White House for the wedding, when you’re ready for that. Furthermore, Leo and I have already discussed it and besides your little trip to Wisconsin, we insist you both take a week’s vacation for your honeymoon upon your marriage as well. You can consider this an official executive order!_

_Give Donna a kiss for me. And please give everyone our best and enjoy your evening. We’ll see you in a few days._

_Sincerely,_

_Jed & Leo_

I fold the letter back up and with shaking hands, place it back in the envelope. Since my father passed, Leo and the President have been like surrogate fathers to me. To hear they’re proud of me and to have them acknowledge the struggles I’ve had since Rosslyn brings a lump to my throat. I make a mental note to show the letter to Donna when we get back to my place later. She’s gone through all of this right along with me and will appreciate Leo and the President’s kind words just as much as I do.

“Well, what did it say?” C.J. asks.

“Not much, just offering their support and ordering Donna and I take a honeymoon once we get married,” I reply, feeling the need to keep the letter as private as possible.

Suddenly, there’s a knock on C.J.’s door. I turn quickly toward it, before looking back to the group. “Showtime!” C.J. rushes over to answer the door while I run and put the letter in my coat with the plane ticket.

“Donna! Merry Christmas, woman!” I hear C.J. say in greeting as I leave the bedroom. I find her hugging C.J. at the front door. She’s wearing the same sweater as earlier, but has changed in to a pair of jeans. She looks relaxed yet sexy. Not that she ever DOESN’T look sexy. Once C.J. releases her, she removes her jacket and surrenders it to be put in the bedroom with the rest. She catches my eyes across the room and smiles warmly at me. C.J. notices our eye contact and laughs.

“We all know you want to attack each other, so go ahead. You’re amongst friends… just keep it PG would you? Wouldn’t want to pollute Charlie’s innocent young mind now would we? Pun intened,” C.J. giggles, pushing Donna toward me.

I meet Donna in the center of the room. “Hey,” I say with a smirk.

“Hey yourself.”

“Miss me?”

“I just saw you 2 hours ago,” she laughs.

“You’re point is?”

“Of course I missed you,” she says seriously before leaning up to give me a chaste kiss on the cheek. I wrap my arms around her, inhaling her scent.

“I missed you, too,” I whisper in her ear.

I release her slowly from my embrace, lacing my hand with hers.

“Okay, food is in the kitchen. Drinks are on the counter and in the fridge. Please help yourselves. I’ll get Rudolph queued up so we can watch the other nitwits while we eat, drink, and be merry. We’ll do gifts after that,” C.J. informs the group.

Sam and Charlie race each other to the kitchen while Toby takes his time getting up from his semi-permanent spot on the couch. I nod toward the kitchen and pull Donna along with me to fill our plates and grab beers.

We all settle in front of C.J.’s television with our food and beverages. Donna sits on the couch and I take the spot on the floor in front of her, her legs flanking my shoulders. She tossed a pillow down for me to sit on so my ass doesn’t kill me. C.J. starts the movie and while we eat the finger food smorgasbord she’s prepared. We chat idly and occasionally sing along through the movie we’ve all seen dozens of times. As soon as the nitwit part comes on, C.J. makes sure to point out my counterpart in the movie. Donna hands me down her empty plate to put with mine on the floor and begins running her hands lazily through my hair, relaxing me completely. I love it when she does this. She would give me a scalp massage when she was caring for me after my surgery when I’d get headaches from the meds. It always calmed me down. She doesn’t know how perfect it is right now. My nerves are beginning to make themselves known when I notice Rudolph preparing to lead Santa’s sleigh through the storm. Gift exchange and the Moment of truth are next. I take a long pull on my beer, knowing it will be the last one I have tonight. I don’t mind a little liquid courage, but with my “sensitive system”, I don’t want to chance drinking more than one and not having a clear head for the rest of the evening.

As the credits role, C.J. stands and begins collecting the empty paper plates to throw them away. “Alright everyone, refresh your drinks and then we’ll start everyone’s favorite part of the evening... Secret Santa!” Sam gives a lame woot, Charlie claps his hands together, and Toby rolls his eyes. C.J. notices Toby’s display and adds, “Then, after the gifts, we’ll watch Toby’s movie counterpart, Mr. Scrooge.”

“Bah Humbug,” Toby replies with a grin.

I lean back against Donna and look up at her face while she continues to run her fingers through my hair.

“Mmmm, that feels nice,” I tell her softly. “Do you want another beer before we do the gifts?” I ask.

She smiles down at me. “You have very soft hair, Joshua. And no, I’m good for now, but thanks.”

“Anything for you, my love.” She leans down as far as she can and places a kiss on my forehead.

Everyone reenters the room with fresh drinks in their hands. Sam is starting to feel it. He’s bouncing around, starting to slur, and his eyes have become glassy. I hope he can keep it together until after the gifts at least. He has a tendency to spill the beans when he gets tipsy. C.J.’s feeling pretty good too, judging by the Santa hat and megawatt smile she’s now wearing. But she can hold her liquor better than Sam, so I’m not worried.

“Alright my little elves, Mrs. Clause is here and raring to go! A little mood music please, Charles?” C.J. requests. Charlie nods and starts playing the CD with a bunch of Christmas music and a special hidden track for when Donna is opening her gift. “White Christmas” starts playing through the speakers as C.J. encourages everyone to take their seat. Donna and I remain in the same positions we were in through dinner, her hands now resting on my shoulders instead of playing with my hair. This way I’ll already be in the right position when the last present is handed out.

“We all remember the rules? We open the gifts one at a time. At the end, once everyone is finished, we’ll start with the last to open and work backwards to guess the identity of our Secret Santa.” C.J. picks up a green and red gift bag, reads the name tag, and hands it to Toby. “Alright, Tobias Scrooge, looks like you’re first.” Toby takes the proffered gift and pulls the handles apart, peering in to the bag. A genuine smile forms on his face as he pulls out a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label and a Yankees jersey. He stands up and slides the jersey over his shirt, buttoning it up before lifting the bottle for inspection.

“Wow, I don’t know what to say. This is really great. I, um, well, thanks Santa,” Toby said with a gentle grin. I don’t know who his gifter was, but I think they just made the Grinch’s heart grow a few sizes.

“Okay, let’s see who’s next… Spanky, this one has your name on it,” C.J. says, handing Sam a fairly large, rectangular box wrapped in blue paper with snowflakes. Sam clumsily takes the gift from C.J. and immediately tears at the paper, then attacks the tape on the seam of the box it covered. Finally, he gets the box open and pushes the packing peanuts from the top of the box. His eyes light up as he pulls out a very detailed sailboat inside a glass bottle. The detail of the boat is impressive and the thing must have cost a pretty penny, but the smile of Sam’s face seems to suggest it was worth it.

“This is just like the sailboat my Dad had when I was a kid… the one in the photograph on my desk. This is amazing. Thank you so much, Santa!” Sam says with tears in his eyes. I notice Charlie beam in the corner. The kid doesn’t make a lot of money, so I know he put a lot of thought in to the gift and I’m glad Sam reacted so well to it.

“Alright, Ahab, while you play with your boat, I’m going to move on,” C.J. claims, turning back toward the tree and picking up a small, square box wrapped in silver paper. “Joshua, looks like you’re the next lucky next contestant,” C.J. says, handing the box to me. I smile and tear at the perfectly wrapped paper, revealing a black leather box. I lift the lid on the box to reveal a stunning silver watch. The design is contemporary and formal, but casual enough that you could wear it with jeans. The face is black with elegant silver roman numerals and it has the date built in as well. The fine metal of the band is smooth to the touch. This is an expensive watch. Whoever got it for me must have spent a small fortune. I turn the watch over in my hands and notice an engraving on the back. “ _We have all the time in the world together… ~D”._

I can feel the tears stinging my eyes as I realize the gift is from Donna. I quickly jump to my knees and turn around, sliding my arms around her midsection and pulling her against me. She laughs at my reaction but embraces me as well. I bury my head in her neck and sniffle against her hair.

“Thank you, Donna. I love it. I love you.” She strokes my hair gently, holding me against her.

“You’re welcome, Josh. I love you, too. I figured you could use something that actually tells the correct time. And I meant what I said on the back….” I take her face between my hands, pulling her lips to mine for a brief, gentle kiss, almost forgetting we have an audience.

“I guess we know who Josh’s Secret Santa is… Enough you two! You can do all that lovey dovey stuff later. We have three more gifts to go,” C.J. chastises with a grin. We smile at each other and I slink back down to my seat on the floor between Donna’s legs.

C.J. finds her own gift next, opening it to reveal a spa day at one of the most expensive places in town, complete with manicure, pedicure, and massage. Suffice it to say she loves it. Charlie opens a large box to reveal a new surround sound system to go with the DVD player the President got him not long ago. For a music and movie aficionado, he seems to be very well pleased and expresses his gratitude to his Secret Santa.

Finally, all that’s left is Donna’s gift. The butterflies in my stomach start flying around mercilessly. C.J. makes a grand show of handing Donna the heavy box. “Looks like best for last, Donna,” she says, tossing a quick wink at me. I nod at Charlie who stealthily switches the track of the CD to play “Iris”, the song we danced to at the Congressional Christmas Party last night.

Sure enough, Donna shakes the box gently. “It’s pretty heavy, but it doesn’t sound like it has a lot of pieces. What could it be?” She methodically pulls at the paper, slowly revealing the large, outer box. She opens the lid and starts pulling the crumpled up newspaper from it. I slowly turn around to kneel in front of her. “Someone got me the Washington Post I guess…” she laughs at the paper she is pulling from the box when she must spot the black velvet ring box. She gasps and her left hand covers her mouth in one quick motion. She reaches deep inside with her shaky right hand to pull the jeweler’s box out. I remove the large decoy box from her lap and set it on the floor before moving to one knee in front of her. I pull her left hand gently from her face and hold it between mine, pulling it to my mouth to place a soft kiss to her knuckles.

“Go ahead, open it,” I encourage, the butterflies in my stomach calming as she looks deep in to my eyes, her surprise evident, but her love shining through. I release her hand, allowing her to open the lid on the box to reveal the ring. Her eyes immediately tear up and a small, encouraging smile graces her lips.

“Donna, I know this is sudden, but I also know you are all I’ve ever wanted. You’re it for me. There’s no one else. I love you more than I thought a human being capable of loving another. When you’re not with me, my heart aches for you. When you’re by my side, I feel like I could conquer any obstacle. I want to build a life with you. I want to I want to have a family with you. I want I want to grow old with you by my side. Would you do me the immense honor of being my wife? Donnatella Moss, will you marry me?” I hold my breath as her smile grows and the tears flow from her eyes.

“Yes, Josh! Yes, of course I will,” she exclaims as she throws her arms around me, almost knocking me to the ground. I finally can breathe again and pull her tight against me, never wanting to let her go. My heart is just about beating through my chest, but I finally feel like everything is absolutely right in the world… well, at least in my world. I kiss the top of her head before pulling out of the hug to kiss her deeply.

“Thank you… I love you… so much…” I tell her between kisses. She reaches her hands between us to take mine and I remember the ring. I pull away and she groans in protest.

“Donna, the ring,” I remind her. Realization and slight embarrassment flashes across her face as I chuckle. I pick the ring box up off the floor where it landed beside me when she leapt in to my arms. I pull the ring free and take her left hand in mine, smiling wide. “It’s a family heirloom. It was originally my grandmother’s. If you don’t like it, we can get a different one,” I explain as I slide the ring on her finger. It fits perfectly, the white gold band and solitary diamond contrasting beautifully against her fair skin.

“It’s perfect, Josh. I wouldn’t want anything different,” she assures me, smiling brightly.

“You’re going to be my wife,” I say, dumbfounded. She laughs at my look of amazement before pulling me in for a quick kiss.

“Yes, and you’re going to be my husband.” Her face turns serious, but warm. “I love you, Joshua. Thank you for making me so happy.”

I nuzzle her neck, planting kisses along her jaw line, “Mmm, I love you too. And what do you say we go home and I’ll make you even happier?” I suggest.

“Yes, please feel free to NOT consummate this blessed affair in front of us if you don’t mind,” Toby’s voice cuts through my euphoria. Crap. I kind of forgot we had an audience still. Donna chuckles and pushes gently against my shoulders. I feel my face getting red as I turn toward our friends.

“Sorry, got a little carried away there I guess,” I say, avoiding eye contact with them.

Toby stands, stone faced, and walks over to us. I get the feeling he’s about to yell, but he surprises me by holding his hand out to shake mine. I stand up and shake his hand. “Congratulations, Josh. Donna,” he says, turning to nod at her. “I wish you both many years of happiness,” he says earnestly. I’m in a bit of shock, but am able to thank him before he walks back over and takes his seat. Scrooge does have a heart, I think to myself.

Sam and C.J. come over to us as Donna stands beside me, wrapping her arm around my waist. I wrap my arm around her shoulder, pulling her further against me, as our teary eyed and semi-drunk friends join us in a group hug and offer their slurred congratulations. Charlie gives Donna his condolences and warns me not to hurt her or he’ll come after me, then chuckles and gives us both a quick hug.

“A toast!” C.J. exclaims loudly as she hands us each a champagne flute. She pops the cork on a bottle of Moet Chandon and fills everyone’s glass. “To Josh and Donna! We wish you many years of love and happiness and we’re all honored to be a small part of your life together!” Even Toby smiles as we all clink our glasses together and sip the bubbly liquid. Donna is tracing circles against my back and I’m having a hard time ignoring what her ministrations are doing to my body. I lean in toward her ear and whisper, “Donna, you keep that up and I’m not going to be able to control my actions in front of everyone anymore.”

“Then take me home, Josh. I’m sure no one will mind. Plus, I only have you for 12 or so more hours before I have to leave for a few days. Actually, maybe I’ll call and tell my parents something _came up,”_ she says with a suggestive tone, making a point to look down toward something that will soon be difficult to hide from the other party goers.

“Donna, as tempting as that sounds, we both know you’re mother will kill me and disown you if you don’t make it up there for Christmas this year. I, for one, find myself with quite a strong reason to live,” I say with a wink.

“Can you blame a girl for not wanting to leave her fiancé on Christmas Eve?” she asks, pulling me in to her arms. I lay my hands on her hip and smile.

“You won’t have to...”

“Josh, you just said I can’t call and canc...”

“Again, you won’t have to.”

“What do you mean? How?”

“I called your Dad today. I wanted to do the right thing and ask for his blessing. He gave it under the pretense that I would agree to escort you to Wisconsin tomorrow. He figured you wouldn’t want to leave and didn’t want to give up another holiday without his little girl,” I say, emphasizing that last part. “Plus, I think he sort of likes me. So I will be joining the Moss family Christmas Extravaganza by invite of Dave Moss, who, by the way, insists I call him by his first name. Or by ‘Dad’. Oh, and you have to call him tonight. May I suggest you do so _before_ we get home. I don’t think either of us will be wanting to call parents once we get there.”

“Josh! Are you serious?! You’re coming with me?” she asks enthusiastically.

I laugh at her excitement. “Yup, 4 whole days in Cheeseland with my fiancé and soon to be in laws. Sam had Cathy get me a ticket. So, now that you know you actually have the next 4 days with me, still in a rush to get out of here?”

“I may have you for the next 4 days, but I only have you alone for the next 12 hours still. And though my parents are plenty progressive enough to let us share a room, I don’t feel like keeping quiet tonight. So, I’m going to go say goodbye to the gang and thank C.J. for her hospitality. How about you go get our coats and calm down a bit? Then you can take me home and we can practice for our wedding night,” she says in a husky voice. I gulp audibly and nod my head in agreement.

I gather our coats and meet Donna back in the living room, thanking our friends for their help with everything and wishing them all a good holiday. Donna takes my hand and leads me out in to the light snow. I stop on the sidewalk and pull her in to my arms, kissing her deeply, giving her a preview of the rest of our night... of the rest of our lives.

I pull away slowly, mirroring Donna’s smile and leaning my forehead against hers. “Are you ready?” I ask breathlessly.

“For what?” she giggles.

“I don’t know... everything I guess.”

She kisses me quickly. “I’ve never been more ready. Take me home, Josh.”

“Ah-kay.” And I’ve never felt happier, more fulfilled, and content than I do imaging the infinite future we now get to share together. Maybe these gentiles have the right idea with this whole Christmas thing...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments welcomed!


End file.
